CafeMom Community Guidelines
Last Updated: February 5, 2009
Welcome to the CafeMom Community Guidelines. We created CafeMom to provide moms with a positive and interesting environment where they can connect with other moms, share stories, vent, feel that they are not in it alone, give and get advice, laugh, and do much more.
These Guidelines are intended to help CafeMom be a great place for as many moms as possible! CafeMom is a community where a mom can feel welcome and safe, and not be subjected to personal attacks or disrespectful behavior.
Imagine you're in a real cafe full of other moms who you may or may not be friends with or even know. You have the opportunity to talk and connect with these other women. Or you could decide to sit and listen to the conversations happening around you. You can show photos of your children (because every mom has them in her bag!) to your friends or to people you've just met. How you interact with these other moms is ALL UP TO YOU.
As in a real cafe, there are lots of people with lots of different opinions. If you're eavesdropping (we all do it!) on someone else's conversation, you might hear things that you don't want to. That's all right -- we're all entitled to our opinions and we want CafeMom to be a place where you can share your opinion, even if it isn't popular! Diversity of opinions is an incredibly important thing, and we do our best to encourage this.
As the "owner" of the cafe, the CafeMom Team will do our best to enforce the Guidelines of the cafe, assist members with any questions, and provide a clean, well-lit place for moms to spend their time.
CafeMom Guidelines - Rules of Conduct
The # 1 rule on CafeMom is to be nice and respectful to the moms you meet and give each other the benefit of the doubt. If we all do this, CafeMom will be a great place for all moms to spend time.
- Be respectful of others.
- Don't harass, personally attack, or gang up on others.
- Slurs, stereotyping, and hate speech are not tolerated.
- Controversial topics and debate are great, but they should be done constructively. Be prepared for others to agree AND disagree with you and your ideas.
- Use the Privacy and Security settings to control the privacy and security of your CafeMom experience.
- Don't post something just to inflame or annoy others.
- Don't ask other members for help in the form of money, gifts or donations.
- Advertising and promotions are allowed ONLY on your profile page, in Journal posts (flagged for the Marketplace), or in groups that allow advertising.
- Be respectful of others when posting any content that is adult in nature. Content that is adult in nature should be flagged/sashed. Nude photographs or images are not allowed. Neither are photographs or images of abortion or depictions of violence.
- Don't share your personal information or anyone else's information with someone unless you're absolutely certain it is safe to share with that person. That includes anything another member shared with you in private.
- Do not create multiple accounts. If you need a second account to run your group, please contact the CafeMom Team.
- Help us keep CafeMom orderly by reporting any problems you see on the site including posts that break these rules and anyone you suspect doesn't belong on CafeMom.
- Don't do anything criminal or illegal on CafeMom or encourage anyone else to do so.
- You may discuss CafeMom's policies, but only in the CafeMom Discussion group.
- No shirt, no shoes, no service.
CafeMom's Responsibilities
The CafeMom Team will not look at every post, photo or comment made on the site nor do we guarantee the integrity of every member on the site. But, if we catch something that we believe violates our Community Guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service - because we noticed it or you reported it - we will review the situation and take appropriate action if necessary.
When you are in a group and click the "report this" link, your report goes to the Group Owner for that group. When you are anywhere else on CafeMom and click the "report this" link, your report comes to the CafeMom Team.
When you report something to us that you believe violates these Guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service, we will do our best to review it. We will not always agree with you that there is a problem. When we do agree, we will take the action that we feel is appropriate. For privacy reasons, we often will not be able to share the action that we have taken, but we take all reports seriously, and take appropriate actions when necessary. While we listen to our members, we have the final say on whether content or conduct is permissible under these Guidelines and our Terms of Service.
We always have the right to remove postings, lock postings, warn members, suspend accounts, and/or cancel accounts to enforce these Guidelines or the CafeMom Terms of Service or as we deem necessary to maintain the integrity of the site or our business. Whatever action we choose to take, our decision is final. We will not always explain our actions, but rest assured we do not take these decisions lightly.
We generally won't take action against older content that violates these Guidelines. We feel our efforts are better spent focusing on current issues on the site.
If we feel that by removing a post or a member we can make the site experience better for the rest of the members, we will do it. Or, we could decide that a posting that you find objectionable is within the Guidelines. You may not always think our decisions are fair and you may not always agree with us. Arguing with us or harassing us will not change our minds. Let's all treat each other with respect and work together to make this a great place for all moms.
Your Responsibilities
By following these Community Guidelines, you will be doing your part to make CafeMom a great place for all moms to be. In addition, you have Privacy and Security tools at your fingertips to control who sees the content you post. Use these privacy settings as you see fit to protect you and your family's information. We want everyone at the cafe to be comfortable and feel safe.
Groups are run by members, not CafeMom. All Groups must abide by the CafeMom Group Guidelines. Group Owners are responsible for making their own guidelines for the group and enforcing them as desired. Group Owners are able to remove posts, comments and members from their groups. If a Group Owner needs help with an issue that she can't deal with on her own, she should contact us for assistance.
These Guidelines are a work in progress. We may revise these Guidelines at any time and without prior notice.
CafeMom Detailed Rules of Conduct (aka The Fine Print)
-
Be respectful of others.
It's simple - be nice to others. It's the most important thing for everyone on CafeMom to remember. Give each other the benefit of the doubt - often things online can be more easily misunderstood. Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesn't make their opinion - or yours! - the wrong one. Try not to take things too personally. Oh, and mean people are not welcome on CafeMom.
-
Don't harass, personally attack, or gang up on others.
You can be opinionated and say that your opinion is better or different than another opinion. But don't be nasty about it. Disagree with the opinion, not the person. Don't name-call or try to rally support for your "side".
If you must "vent" your feelings about another CafeMom member, do it without identifying her. Don't use her screen name or any other information that is likely to make her recognizable to other members. If a member blocks you, respect her decision and do not send your friends to bug her.
-
Slurs, stereotyping, and hate speech are not tolerated.
Slurs, hate speech and attacks aimed at any race, color, religion, national origin, disability or sexual orientation are not tolerated at all on CafeMom and will be removed. Don't stereotype people. It isn't funny and it isn't acceptable.
-
Controversial topics and debate are great, but they should be done constructively. Be prepared for others to agree AND disagree with you and your ideas.
When you post something, especially about a controversial topic, expect that your viewpoints and opinions may be vigorously questioned, challenged, and held up to scrutiny. If having your opinions challenged and being expected to defend your position will make you uncomfortable, please don't post about that topic.
CafeMom tries to be a place where people can express their opinion and practice freedom of speech, even if their message is extremely controversial or of questionable validity. That means that you might feel something is "wrong" and doesn't belong on CafeMom, and we might disagree. We feel that sometimes the best way to defend against ignorant or prejudicial speech is with more speech.
Discussion and debate are not only allowed, they are encouraged. But, if a healthy discussion breaks down into an exchange of attacks and insults or becomes too heated, we will take measures to end the discussion. If the discussion is happening in a group, it's up to the Group Owner and Admins to remove the offending posts, according to the CafeMom Mandatory Group Guidelines and their own group's guidelines.
We are particularly sensitive to members criticizing or attacking the parenting styles or parenting decisions of other members. Use sensitivity when expressing your opinion about the way another member is raising her children.
-
Use privacy and security settings to control who you share your posts and photos with.
Familiarize yourself with the extensive privacy and security options available to you on CafeMom. You might be completely comfortable sharing your photos with everyone, but would rather keep your journaling to just your friends, and only want to join private groups. Or, it could be the other way around. Whatever you decide is fine with us!
-
Don't post something just to inflame or annoy others.
Posts that are meant to only upset another mom or group of moms have no place at CafeMom. They simply pollute the air and make it a less inviting place for everyone. Sometimes posts and comments are unintentionally inflamatory - and we understand that - but we might still remove the post or comment.
-
Don't ask other members for help in the form of money, gifts or donations.
We appreciate the stress on you and your family resulting from financial pressures, however, it is not acceptable at this cafe to ask another member for money, goods or services. Instead, you can suggest that members donate to official charities (like the Red Cross or March of Dimes). We have compiled a list of organizations that provide help for moms in need on the Member Resources page.
-
Advertising and promotions are allowed ONLY on your profile page, in Journal posts (flagged for the Marketplace), or in groups that allow advertising. You may not PM or Chatterbox your advertisements to other members unless they specifically request information about it.
Advertising includes:
- Work-at-home businesses
- Products that you are selling (personal or professional)
- Job opportunities
- Charities and charitable causes
- Promoting another website (personal, non-business websites are not advertising)
- Promoting your entry in a contest (e.g,. "vote for my baby in the cutest baby contest on xyz.com!")
CafeMom group promotions are not considered advertisements. However, each CafeMom group can only be promoted in a Journal Post once a day. Each person can promote a maximum of three different groups a day. And each group can be promoted to a member in a PM only once. Group promotions do not need to be flagged for the Marketplace.
Pyramid schemes and cash gifting scams are illegal and posting information about these schemes anywhere on CafeMom is prohibited.
In addition, posts soliciting or advertising the availability of children for adoption are not permitted on CafeMom.
There are many things that members are prohibited from listing for sale on CafeMom. Since we're not really a buying/selling site, we rely on Craigslist's list of prohibited or restricted items. In general it's always safest for you to complete transactions involving money or exchanges on websites that are set up for that - like Craigslist, Ebay, Paypal, etc.
-
Be respectful of others when posting any content that is adult in nature. Content that is adult in nature should be flagged/sashed. Nude photographs or images are not allowed. Neither are photographs or images of abortion or depictions of violence.
We all have different thresholds for what we are comfortable seeing and reading. In addition, while CafeMom is a site for moms, moms often have their children around! In order to make CafeMom comfortable for everyone, and so any little ones don't see something that they shouldn't, please adhere to the following guidelines when posting content that may not be suitable for everyone:
Cursing and adult content are prohibited in public areas and allowed - with sashing - in other areas of CafeMom.
The public areas include: avatars, screen names, thought bubbles, profile pages (text and images), journal post titles, group names, group descriptions, group avatars, signatures, widgets, showdowns, non-adult section of polls, answers, and other similar places.
If you post a photo or journal post that is adult in nature, check the box that indicates the image or post is “adult” and may not be suitable for everyone. These items will appear with a warning on the site letting other members know that the photo or post may contain adult content.
There are cases where cursing or content will be so extreme that it will be removed regardless of whether the content is flagged correctly. We're all adults, there's no need to go to an extreme.
Have fun, participate in lively discussions and debates, bare your soul but not your private parts. Nude photographs or images are not allowed, though breastfeeding and birthing photos are permitted as long as they are sashed accordingly. We also allow "nude" pictures of babies under 6 months old - we don't believe that it's a wise idea to post nude pictures of anyone older than that. We also allow the posting of photos/images that may contain nudity, as long as they depict a medical procedure and are intended to spread awareness about breast cancer. Such images must be sashed.
We don't allow photographs, illustrations or other images depicting abortions. We understand the rationale for why moms might want to spread this kind of information, but CafeMom is not the right place to do this. And, it's not the right place to post images of violence either.
Don't share your personal information or anyone else's information.
Would you give your phone number, street address or anything else to a mom you just met in a cafe? Maybe - if you trusted her or knew someone in common. But you probably wouldn't give it out to someone you knew little about. The same is true online. Don't give out your personal information to anyone else unless you're sure it's safe. And, don't give it out in a public area of CafeMom where others can see it too. It will be removed.
Don't give money to people who ask for it online. While their stories may move you, you have no way of knowing if they are legitimate. We can't verify the identities of everyone on the site and you use the site at your own risk. We urge you to learn and follow best practices for staying safe online.
You should also not share or post anyone else's personal information. Don't repost messages from private groups or messages in public places. If the information was posted in a private group, assume that the member wants it to remain private.
We are not responsible for what happens off the site, even if it was organized on CafeMom. Be careful whom you talk to, whom you trust, and what you do in the "real" world based on what you read online.
Do not create multiple accounts on CafeMom.
Each member of CafeMom is allowed to have one account. If you need a second account to manage your CafeMom group, it is usually allowed with permission from the CafeMom Team. If we discover you have multiple CafeMom accounts, we may cancel that account in addition to your original.
Help us keep CafeMom orderly by reporting any problems you see on the site, posts that break these rules, and anyone you suspect doesn't belong on CafeMom.
If you see something, say something to us. We're always on the site in one way or another. And, we rely on CafeMom members to help us identify when there is a violation of these Guidelines. When you report something to us, we will do our best to investigate it. You don't need to report things multiple times or have your friends also report the same issue. We try to review everything sent to us and sending it multiple times just slows things down for everyone. Use the "report this" to send a message to the CafeMom Team from anywhere on the site, except groups. If you're in a group, your report will go to the Group Owner.
You have the ability to delete private messages as well as comments made to your journal posts, photos, and chatterboxes. Please use these tools at your own discretion and, if appropriate, before you report an issue to us.
If you think you've found an "imposter" or suspect that a member is not "legitimate," let us know by using the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of each page. We will investigate promptly. Do not threaten, harass or make journal posts about your suspicions. Doing this will only interfere with and slow down our efforts to get to the truth quickly.
Likewise, if we discover that you are pretending to be someone you are not, we will cancel your account.
Don't do anything criminal or illegal on CafeMom or encourage anyone else to do so.
Any postings that we reasonably believe or suspect are criminal or illegal in nature will be removed and any conduct that we suspect is illegal or which poses a threat of illegal activity will be reported to the appropriate authorities. We will cooperate with authorities to prosecute anyone who breaks the law while using our site. Do not link to sites containing criminal or illegal activity.
If you see something that you believe is illegal, you can report that to the authorities. We are not experts, and can not make assessments about the legality of many things - if you think it's illegal, you should contact the police and let them make the decision. We will fully cooperate with any authorities who contact us about issues on CafeMom.
You may discuss CafeMom's policies, but only in the CafeMom Discussion group.
We are open to constructive feedback about our decisions and policies. But in order to keep on top of all of the inquiries, we need everyone to post their policy discussions in the same place - the CafeMom Discussion group.
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Just kidding. We don't care what you wear to this cafe.
- The CafeMom Team
Related links:
Member ResourcesContact the CafeMom Team
CafeMom Discussion Group
Terms of Service
Privacy Policy
Privacy and Security of Kids Information Online
Frequently Asked Questions
