Should we tell people the name we chose or keep it secret?

Real Mom Problem

“I've heard so many horror stories about people announcing the baby's name before the birth and then hearing nothing but negative comments about the name.”

by marywilliams marywilliams

Quick Tips

  • 1. Some moms find it hard to keep the baby's name a secret from friends and family
  • 2. Sharing your baby's name can help others bond with your baby before birth and help you avoid referring to the baby as "it"
  • 3. When deciding whether to share your baby's name, consider how you will feel if someone reacts negatively to your name choice
  • 4. If you want to avoid all comments about your name choice, it's best to keep the name a secret until your baby's birth

Real Mom Solutions

Now that you've picked out a name for your new baby, should you share it with other people? Find out what the moms of CafeMom would do, then decide if you are going to reveal your baby's name before birth or keep it a secret.

Sharing Helps Others Bond with Baby

  • mylilprincesses

    I like to call the baby a name before the baby is born. I don't really like calling the baby IT for nine months.

  • beadingmom17

    We shared the names both times. Everyone loved the names we picked!

  • Midwest_Mom

    We let everyone know the names we picked before our children were born. When we found out the sex of our children, we gave them a name so they would already have an identity. We wanted to recognize them as an individual and part of our family, even though they hadn't been born yet.

  • 3_times_blessed

    I did tell with all four of mine and had no problems! Everyone would call them by name as they were talking to them in my belly. I figure it's my baby and they didn't really have to like the name, but no one ever said anything negative.

  • sktrowb

    I did not really have too much trouble with the names after we told people we were going to name her whatever we wanted because she is our child. I enjoyed being able to talk about her at family functions and knowing who we were talking about. Having to do the "the baby" or "IT" thing drove me crazy. I will definitely tell everyone the name again.

  • meam4444

    We told with our three girls because I knew we couldn't keep it a secret.

A Surprise Makes Birth More Special

  • AriMommy

    My mom and a few others keep asking what we're going to name him. I told them that we want it to be a surprise since we already know he's a boy and I want something regarding his birth to be a surprise.

  • tginn20

    We aren't sharing names before the baby is here because we aren't finding out what we are having. If we tell people the names we have picked out they will start referring to my belly as whatever gender name they think we are having. So it will be a surprise for everyone...the gender and the name.

  • MamaSarah1104

    We shared the name with our first baby, but this time we haven't. We just felt like it would be special if we didn't tell anyone until after he's here. Plus I know people aren't going to like it, but they can't really say much once he's born.

  • MomToBeISaMom

    We keep our names a secret. Our family loves to send name lists around to the pregnant women in hopes that one of their chosen names makes the cut. It's a fun tradition.

Sharing Invites Negative Comments

  • luvhubandbabys

    I don't tell. It's a surprise because I don't need to hear negative comments.

  • JamieLyn822

    We don't tell anyone our name ideas until we have decided and after the baby is born. I don't care to hear people's feedback and possibly get a negative association with a name I like.

  • traceem

    If you don't want to hear people's negative comments, better keep it to yourself, as most people just can't help themselves. Don't let others ruin your names for you.

  • MommyAddie

    I can't believe how many people had the nerve to voice their opinions about our daughter's name. It's one thing to make a comment about whether you like it or not, and I'm ok if you don't, but people actually think it's acceptable to submit an argument on why you should change it and what it SHOULD be in their opinion. You would never try to talk the parents of an already-born child into changing her name, what makes you think it's ok to do that to a pregnant couple?

How to Handle Opinions

  • Avmommy19

    We don't care what they think. We are the parents and that's what it's going to be. Don't change the name because of other people.

  • mss119

    Forget what your family says. Everyone will grow to love the name, because it will be associated with their beautiful little niece/granddaughter/etc. So forget what they say and follow your heart!

  • lovefromwithin

    I just flat out stuck to my guns. If it feels right in my heart then those other people's opinions can go into the trash can!

  • laytonslilmomma

    Tell them to get over it! That's what I did! No one liked our name, but boo hoo for them! It's our kid. They had their chances to pick out names!