When should I share the news that I'm pregnant?
Real Mom Problem
“I just got my first positive! I am only about four weeks! We were trying for about five months and I'm really excited to tell my friends and family, but how soon should I?”
- 1. Many moms wait to share pregnancy news until the end of the first trimester, when risk of miscarriage is significantly reduced
- 2. Consider waiting until you've confirmed your pregnancy with your doctor
- 3. Share the news whenever you feel it is right for you and your partner
Real Mom Solutions
Finding out you're pregnant is incredibly exciting, and you're no doubt eager to share the good news. But moms' views on when to officially break the baby news vary. See what these moms suggest.
These Moms Say It's Best to Wait
General rule of thumb is second trimester, but everyone is different. Don't tell anyone you wouldn't tell if you had a miscarriage.
I told people at four weeks and it was hard to have to tell people when we had our loss. Not that it will happen to you, but I definitely plan on waiting next time just for my peace of mind.
There is always a risk of miscarriage and if you tell everyone you are expecting, then you may have to tell them all you have lost the baby, too.
Others Don't Wait to Share the Joy
People say wait until the first trimester is over because your risk of miscarriage is greatly decreased, but I told my family the day I found out, at which time I was four weeks, and I told everyone else a week later. I personally can't keep a secret and was so excited.
We told immediate family and two best friends at four-and-a-half weeks. That's all so far, but I'm having a hard time keeping it a secret. I nearly fainted at church, and I could tell people were wondering. I would like to wait to tell the rest of my friends and family until eight to 10 weeks, but I don't know if the secret will keep that long!
I told lots of people right away, mostly family. I have no history of miscarriage, though.
I told my entire family right away and then felt severely guilty about it. Then I realized, if I miscarried I would tell them and they'd be my support group! So think of it that way!
Do What You Feel Is Right
It all depends on how you feel. We told my parents at five weeks. We waited until the first ultrasound at eight-and-a-half weeks to tell our daughter. My best friend knew before I could tell her. She asked the day I took my test if I was pregnant--before I even hinted at being late! We haven't announced it to others yet. We are trying to find a cute, original way to announce. I'm glad we told my parents when we did. If we lost the baby, we would have them for support. Better that they are included all along; I wouldn't want to go through that alone.
With this baby we told people right away. We waited during my first two pregnancies, and then when we miscarried it was even harder because I felt like I had no one to talk to or open up to. With this baby, as soon as we got the first ultrasound and confirmed he/she was in there and doing well, we told our families. Really, it's whatever you feel more comfortable with.
Everybody is different. Some wait till 12 - 13 weeks, and some tell everyone right away. It's up to you.
I say tell them whenever you want! I usually wait until the doctor's test, just to be sure. A lot of people like to wait until after 12 weeks, when the risk of miscarriage is lower, but I don't. In my opinion, we're going to tell family if we miscarry either way, so at least we'll have support all along the way if that does happen. Whatever you're comfortable with!