Should I provide birth control for my teen?
Real Mom Problem
“Is buying birth control for your teens a help or does it make sex more appealing?”
- 1. Some moms believe that teens will have sex no matter what, and providing condoms or birth control will keep them safe
- 2. Other moms believe that providing birth control encourages promiscuity, and that it's better to promote abstinence
- 3. You can help your teen make good decisions about sex by educating her about the consequences of having sex, including pregnancy and STDs
Real Mom Solutions
Does providing teens with birth control keep them safe, or does it promote promiscuity? These moms have very different opinions on the matter--let them help you decide.
Support Your Teen's Sexual Safety
If my teen is going to have sex, I want to her be protected! I can't make her choices for her, but I can teach her about the consequences and about resources.
I absolutely would buy my teen birth control. I honestly don't understand why anyone wouldn't. If your daughter asks for birth control, that pretty much means she feels ready to have sex. Whether we as mothers like it or not, we can't control them. But we CAN help to control whether or not they drastically alter their lives by becoming mothers before they can legally drive.
I'd rather buy condoms than diapers.
I only have boys, and if I have the slightest suspicion that they could be sexually active I will supply them with condoms. As much as I would like to think they will wait to have sex, I'm a realist. They will probably test the water like the majority of society.
My daughter is 13 now and we have had lots of talks about sex and she knows that I am always here. If she feels she is ready then I will take her right away and get her on birth control. I got pregnant with her when I was only 15 because my parents never talked to me about sex or helped me with birth control. I wouldn't change having her for anything in the world but it is not the life I want for her.
I would absolutely give my daughter birth control. I was taught by church, school, and home that premarital sex was wrong. Well I did it anyway, and I was too scared to ask for birth control because having sex was wrong. I had a baby when I was 16. If I can spare my children the pain and anguish of teenage pregnancy and motherhood, I will. And any mother whose teenage daughter tells her she is sexually active and denies her daughter birth control is a very selfish mother.
My daughter is 17 and my son is 18. They are not ready to be parents. We provide him with condoms and she is on the pill. Young men cannot trust the girl to take the birth control, they need to take responsibility and protect themselves. You have to keep communication open and be willing to listen and discuss without judgment. Young people need love and support.
I plan on having a drawer that has condoms in it, no questions asked. I will tell them if they want or need it, they can go get it (male or female). I won't ask unless they feel like sharing, and the drawer will never be empty. I feel it's better to provide it if they should need it, then them need it and not have it.
My teen will have sex with or without the pill. Better she is prepared and knowledgeable then experimenting on her own.
Don't Promote Promiscuous Behavior
I feel birth control is an excuse to have sex. When I was a kid my mom put me on it and I felt that she was saying it was ok to have sex. She told me different, but her actions spoke loud and clear. We believe no sex until marriage; therefore we will not be encouraging our teen to have premarital sex.
As a mother of two daughters I do not believe in providing children with birth control. I was a virgin when I got married and I expect nothing less from them. If you have a good relationship with your children, and don't try to be their friend but actually act like a parent there should be no reason to supply a child with adult medicine to participate in adult activities.
If my son isn't mature enough to buy condoms himself, he has no business having sex.
I will strongly encourage my child to just be a child. A 15-year-old has NO business having sex. I will use myself as an example to her. I never had sex until I was old enough and in love at the age of 21, and I married the man. She won't have to follow in my exact footsteps but I would want her to wait until she is older and mature enough to have strong feelings for the person.
I never would provide my teen with birth control. If I were to do that then I would be promoting and condoning promiscuous behavior. Same situation with drinking; I would never provide any alcohol to my kids just to make sure everything is being taken care of under my watch.
I will not provide my teen with birth control. We are raising our children to wait for marriage for sex because then it comes with commitment, love and responsibility, as well as total self-giving. We believe this is the healthiest route for them and their future spouses. Teach them to respect their bodies and those of the people around them. Abstinence works! But not when parents provide condoms in a drawer "just in case" or say "sex is a part of being a teenager." That is insulting to your children. They are not slaves to their hormones. There are very few people who cannot learn to rein in their emotions. But they have to be taught and shown the example.
Plenty of teens are not having sex. They do not need to have birth control thrust on them just because they happen to have their period. My mom raised three girls and not one of them was having sex in high school. I was 22 and married before I had my oldest. My sisters are 22 and still virgins. I get tired of the line that teens will be teens and they can't control themselves.
I don't believe in putting children (yes teens are children) on birth control. It says 'go ahead and have sex' to me. I don't want my girls thinking it's ok to have sex when they should be worrying about school and their independence. My girls know having sex, even on the pill, you could still get pregnant or wind up with STDs.
I will never promote birth control to any of my children and they will be taught (just as I was) that sex is between a married man and woman who must be open to having children every time they "do it." It's not just about the fun. My husband and I will teach our children about love, respect, maturity, pregnancy, STDs, date rape, and more, but they will know that any type of fornication outside of marriage is sinful. Yes, teenagers' hormones are out of control and it's not easy to be abstinent, but I don't think we should just give up on them by throwing condoms and hormone pills at them.
Try Education First
I would first sit my teen down and have a long discussion about the consequences of premarital sex and the emotional aspects of it as well. I don't want my 15-year-old having sex, but unless I lock them in a cage, there's not much I can do to stop them. I'm just going to make sure they are educated and prepared if they do decide to make such a tremendous decision.
I know that I can't keep a constant watch on my child. So, I'd rather educate my child on the dangers of sex, reinforce that I do not approve of her having sex, and take her for birth control if sex is something she decides she isn't going to wait to have until she's older. I'd rather have a safe, sexually active teenager than one who isn't taking precautions and still having sex.
I will educate each of my children with pamphlets, pictures, doctor visits, etc. I will also make condoms readily available because, much like unwanted teen pregnancy, I do not want them to get an STD or worse. I am not condoning teen sex but I am not going to turn a blind eye and act like they will not be doing it.