What should I do if my teen doesn't have any friends?
Real Mom Problem
“My teen daughter rarely goes out to do things with friends and I feel so bad. I wish I could help her make new friends.”
- 1. Getting your teen involved in activities or volunteering can help him meet people with similar interests
- 2. Some moms suggest intervening in your teen's social life, by inviting potential friends over
- 3. Cell phones can make communication between teens easier
Real Mom Solutions
Are you worried that your teen is socially isolated? Your son or daughter may not become an instant social butterfly, but these moms have a few ideas for helping your teen emerge from her social shell.
Some Moms Suggest Social Opportunities
You can't make friends for your teen. It is something she has to do for herself. Just be there for her if her lack of social life bothers her. Maybe she should host a party.
The more your teen gets involved with activities, the more friends she will make. There are so many options. Sports camps, art camps, classes through your city, dance, volunteering at an animal shelter or other non-profit, music, choir, debate, joining or creating an anti-bullying campaign for a local elementary school or day camp. Doing things she's passionate about will help her build her self-esteem, feel good about herself, boost her college resume, and expose her to lots of different people, which hones social skills and introduces potential friends.
You could try and get your teen into volunteering. It could be something she really enjoys and she could meet others with the same interests as her.
I would really encourage your teen to get involved in some activity, ANY activity outside of the house. If he hasn't found anything he wants to join, I'd keep trying.
You may want to encourage a cell phone - it is the main way kids this age communicate. We moved six hours from home. The first day I picked my daughter up, she had exchanged cell numbers with a few of the girls and they ended up texting each other right away. She told me it is much easier to reach out and text a friend than call.
Other Moms Intervene for Their Teen
I would intervene. I would maybe reach out to a friend that you know a little bit more and see if she can help. My teen is so shy that she won't ask a friend to come over unless they invite her first. Many times her friends text me and ask me if they can come over and I don't mind. I often text her friends when something comes up because at this age they would much rather text than talk to a mom on the phone.
Help your teen identify free times coming up, things to do to fill that time, and suggest friends she might invite. Being the inviter changes how in charge you feel about friendships, and ends up getting you invited to more things by others. Help her differentiate from being naturally quiet, and being quiet because she is insecure, and ask if she is comfortable with it or wishes to increase her active participation in conversations. Books and websites with tips can help with that.
These Moms Think You Shouldn't Worry
I wouldn't worry about it as long as your teen is happy with their situation. If they're home, use that time to do things to spend time and bond together.
Rather than be concerned about how much time your teen is spending with friends, enjoy the time she spends with you. I promise you, as time passes, she will spend more time with friends and when she does, you are going to be wishing she would spend more time at home with the family. Enjoy this time with her. She will be going off with friends, to college, or making a life of her own a lot quicker than you realize and you will be aching for these moments when she was home.
Some people aren't that social. If you are worried, you could get your teen to talk to someone. But if they are happy and healthy, I wouldn't worry.