How can I deal with feelings of jealousy towards pregnant women?
Real Mom Problem
“I think EVERYONE I know is expecting. It has been very, very hard for me. It's just so painful to watch everyone go through everything I want to be doing. I never considered myself a jealous person until recently. I hate it! Does anyone else feel this way or am I just a complete witch?”
- 1. Accept your feelings, understand that they're normal, and don't hold onto anger
- 2. Talk to friends and family members who can understand and offer support
- 3. Try to think positive and wish others well
Real Mom Solutions
When you're trying to conceive, it's natural to feel jealous of other women who have already gotten pregnant. See how these ladies learned to accept their feelings and move in a positive direction.
Allow Yourself to Feel Jealous
It's completely normal. Don't feel like you're a terrible person. We've all been there. I've been trying to conceive for 20 months and I know people who have had a baby and are already pregnant again in that span of time. That's when it really started to affect me. I've just tried to cope with it by remembering that my situation is completely separate from theirs, and the only thing I achieve by linking them together is making myself miserable!
I have a hard time congratulating women on their pregnancies even though I am happy for them. Thank goodness it isn't hard to oohh and aahh over their babies. My only consolation is that everyone I know who are having babies are good parents.
I find myself feeling jealous more and more every day. There is a girl that I am friends with that just had her maternity pictures taken. These feelings are normal and do not make us bad people for having them!
Sometimes I do stop and think that no one knows what she went through to get pregnant and that stops me from being hurt or jealous. I have my angry times and my "yay for her" times.
Try to Be Positive and Patient
Jealousy can consume your life if you let it. Try to focus on positive happy things and remind yourself it will happen!
There is another wife on my husband's ship that just found out she is pregnant. To combat my horrible jealousy, I'm forcing myself to be overly nice to her. I'm a very superstitious person, and for me to avoid her, or have bitter feelings towards her, I feel like it would not bode well for me in the future. So I'm going out of my way to be nice, friendly and supportive in the hopes that karma stops by my house next.
Negativity, stress, and envy do nothing for trying to conceive but hinder the process.
Don't give up! Our first took us one year, second took us four years, and the rest were less than a year each. I know it's difficult watching everyone else who's not prepared get pregnant. It will happen, all in good time. Patience is everything. If I've learned anything through my childbearing years, it's that I need to have patience and good things will come when I least expect it. Good luck!
Don't feel bad about being jealous. We had been trying for a year-and-a-half and one day I got the call that my 16-year-old cousin was pregnant with her 17-year-old boyfriend who already has a child. I puked and cried for a good 24 hours. Over the next few weeks, I just let go of all the hurt I had inside me. This was only about four months ago. I'm 11 weeks pregnant now! Just let it out!
I used to get jealous of other pregnant women after our miscarriages, but not anymore. Now I just say "have a healthy nine months" in my head.
I used to feel jealous of pregnant women, but then I had this realization that just because someone else gets pregnant, that doesn't give me the right to be pissed about it. It doesn't change my situation. I don't want anyone to be pissed when I get pregnant. We are going on two years now and every month has been hard. But coming to grips with your infertility and not projecting your frustration and hurt on someone else's pregnancy is very healthy. Good luck.