How can I help my tween who's developing early?
Real Mom Problem
“My daughter has just turned nine. I thought it was too early for puberty!”
- 1. Talk to your child about his or her body changes early, before he or she starts hearing about it at school
- 2. Be honest about what is happening, so that you become a trusted source for your child for information on puberty and sex
- 3. Consider helpful aids such as books, movies, TV shows, and health websites
- 4. Remind your tween that you're always available to talk and answer questions
Real Mom Solutions
Puberty can be a tough time for a preteen, but it's especially challenging for the first kid in a peer group to go through it. These moms shared their ideas for helping your tween who's developing early.
My oldest is now 11. She started puberty at about nine-and-a-half. When she first started, with growing hair, I sat her down and talked with her about it. She is very emotional as it is, but when people started saying stuff at school, it made life a lot worse. She now says that me talking to her and answering all her questions helped. I'm really glad I had the talk when I did.
I have an 11-year-old son that has already hit puberty. We started talking to him when he was 10 about what to expect so that he wasn't shocked. We also started talking to him about sex (age appropriate) so that it wasn't something that he just heard about at school. His stepdad and I talk to him together so that he feels comfortable with both of us and sees that it is something that men and women can discuss openly and honestly together.
My daughter started developing when she was eight. Now she is a big girl and the kids in her class have not even started developing so she feels weird. But I told her, you are my child and I was blessed in that department and so are you. That didn't make her feel better, but gave her something to laugh about!
Just be as open as you can. Try and share some of your experiences. To her you are the pro because you have been through it... she hasn't. She will learn it from you.
I just explained to my daughter that she was at the age where she was going to go through some physical changes as her body grew in to that of an adult. She would get breasts like I have, dark hair under her arms, on her legs, and on her pubic area. She might notice her voice getting lower as well. Her hips will eventually widen and at some point she would start her period (she already knows what that is). I told her that sometimes these changes might make her uncomfortable, but everybdy goes through them. Then I told her that if she had any questions about anything, she should come to me because I want to make sure that she got the correct information.
My daughter was nine, and so was I. I remember being in third grade, getting my period at school, and freaking out because I thought something was wrong since my mother had never told me anything about it. PLEASE have a talk with your daughter. That was a very scary moment for me not knowing anything at all. I sat down with both of my girls and explained what would be happening with their bodies.