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How to deal with my passive-aggressive ex husband? LOL

so i left him because i couldn't take his behavior, and he had serious issues that he refused to treat and made the living environment unsafe and unhealthy for our children. well, i still have to deal with this shit apparently.

just last sunday, he was supposed to come over in the morning with his mom to see the kids, bring donuts, and some money for child support. 3 oclock rolls around, i hear nothing from him beforehand as to why he didn't show up, no phone call, text, email, anything. so i go to the pool with the kids, i don't wait around for anyone. anyway, he texts at 3 and says he's on his way, so i tell him too bad, i'm not home now and he should've called this morning and explained that he was late. i tell him also to mail the money to me because this isn't the first time this week he's supposed to come bring it to me and visit and then suddenly cancels.

well, he didn't respond, and then half an hour later sends me a text saying he went by my house AND my parents' house (we live 5 min from eachother, they weren't home either) and if i want the money i have to come get it, that HE is tired of playing these games. WTF!? i tell you not to come because i'm not home because i'm not waiting for your ass that's HOURS late but you come anyway knowing i'm not home and demand i drag 3 kids to come see you but I'M playing games!?

so i told him (out of anger) to let the courts decide when he can see the kids, because i'm tired of dealing with his inconsistencies, and it's not healthy for the kids. he's supposed to call every night and calls twice a week if they're lucky. he's supposed to visit once a week and visits every other week if they're lucky. i am over it, and if a court says he needs to be somewhere at a certain time and isn't, then it's just tough shit for him.

but now, days later without a word from him, he's calling and asking if his mom can come pick up the kids (which is a big HELL no, whole different story) so he, she, and his grandma can see them. i mean, of course they can all come to my house and visit, but since he's SOO inconsistent i don't even know if it's a good idea. i'm about ready to rip my hair out, and i left this guy to get AWAY from all of this! i know i will always have to deal with him but will i always have to deal with the fucking mind games!?

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 10:42 PM on Sep. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,605 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Go thru the Courts, have his wages attached and have the Courts ser up times for him to visit. Let them know what he's doing and it's not good for the kids, one heart break after another. He needs to grow the hell up and put your kids F I R S T . Then his Mother needs to stay the hell out of your business and let you 2 handle your problems yourselves. If the Courts say he is to pick them up he is NOT HER. Good Luck.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 10:47 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • I agree, go through the courts now.
    KarenT214

    Answer by KarenT214 at 10:49 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • I agree, go through the courts now. i am in that process and i dont regret having that piece of chit because i love my kids. now i have a new relationship and i am very specific...
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 10:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • Yep, I agree, it's time to see an attorney, and let the judge decide what he can and can't do. He needs to realize everything he does should be in the best interests of the children, and right now he's only worried about himself. I hope it all works out. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:01 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't even deal with him anymore. I'd be dealing with him only through the courts and an attorney.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 11:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • Why are you even wasting your time ?? Let the court handle this
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 11:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2011

  • I am going through similar circumstances. Isn't it just sooo nice knowing you will ALWAYS be dealing with him?..uhh... I am too chicken to go through the courts in my case, my ex doesn't want to get the courts involved (so he would actually have to pay child support) so I listen to him like a dumb ass...but if you aren't a dumb ass then I say go through the courts! Then it isn't on you whether he sees them or not!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 1:46 AM on Sep. 29, 2011

  • Go through the courts. Money visitation and other contcts (with you) can be court ordered and will be. You say you left him but not that you are divorced. If that is te case, you may not have a right to deny him equal access to his children. BTW justin case you don't know this, unless the court specifically says he and only may have access to the children during visitation, you will have no say in who it is that your husband assigns to pick up or drop off or stay with his children. I have partial custody of my grandson. In the court order when ex dil has custody (visitation) her mother may not drive the grandsona anywhere, for any reason. DIL has the right to take him to her mother's, her sister's her aunt's r a friend's house and let him stay during her entire visitation. It is her right to choose where he may be and with whom he may be during her time. The same is true with me our my son.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:00 AM on Sep. 29, 2011

  • The only stipulation on that is if any of us should wish to take him out of the city (and burbs), then we must tell them where we are going and how we can be reached. We still can not say no unless the stay is to be longer that their original visitation. My DIL can not have myDGS for more that 2 full days at any given time so the rule can not be bent for her. But I could give extra time to either one of them or they to each other or to me if they wish.

    I would seek professional advice and go from there.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:04 AM on Sep. 29, 2011