Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ive been married to my DH over a year now, we have a beautiful daughter together, but whats our relationship coming to?

we fight so much... i do so many things for him- ...he gets home at 11:00 pm and i stay up to eat with him everynite, i cook him a 3 or 4 course meal everynight. i stay with our daughter ALL day. and hardly ever ask him for a break... we are just growing apart and i dont know what to do or how to stop it. Advice please?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Jan. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • What are you fighting about? Is he feeling you're not dong enough or is he feeling smothered? (Some men don't like their wives to bend ove backwards as you're doing...my grandfather used to get mad at my grandmother for it.)

    You're not giving anyone enough to go on here. What makes you say you're growing apart?
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:57 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • ALL he wants to do is play his xbox... like i said he gets home as 11 and wants to play it for hours when he gets home- we dont have ANY communication anymore....it seems like there is ALWAYS something better for him to do...
    youngandafraid

    Answer by youngandafraid at 4:01 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • My husband and I went through this for a little while. We had a good conversation about what our expectations and needs were and went from there. He needed his zone out time on XBOX just like I need my me time without baby. And we also needed to spend time outside of the house together, and make more love. Start with a schedule if you need to, but do what it takes to make both of you happy.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 4:22 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Also...if someone's in front of the TV the entire time they are home, there can't be any communication or love going around so you're right to address it. Let him know if you're not feeling appreciated. Be honest and be ready for his honesty as well. It may take a few conversations to fix it. And be sure to keep working on it...when it starts to feel that way again nip it right away.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 4:29 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Ah. In other words, he's a typical young adult male. **grin**

    Make a schedule together. Plan his XBox time and your family time every day. I'd consider NOT staying up for him every night...let him deal with his own dinner and such so you can get some sleep and he can have his XBox time.

    If the two of you can compromise, you'll both be much happier. And a strong marriage doesn't mean spending every waking nonworking minute together...indeed, that can be a recipe for disaster for some personalities. (I happen to have one of those...I stay up late at night purposely to get "my" time. It's more important to me than sleep!)
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:33 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Does he want to put any time into the relationship?

    It seems like this is a pretty sweet deal for him - so why would he want to change?
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 7:05 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I have a GREAT book I'd like to suggest, however it's written by a Christian and rubs a lot of women the wrong way. If you are interested in knowing the title and reading an excerpt, feel free to message me =)
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 8:58 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Now why are you staying up until 11 and giving him a 4 course meal when you have a little one. Maybe he is taking things for granted. and you need to stop. Would he do the same for you and would he do all these other things for you if the roles were reversed? he has it made, doesn't he? Get a life outside of him. Go to the park, take a walk, do something with your child away from him. For goodness sakes, stop waiting up and waiting on him.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 9:13 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • get some counelling. It will help you guys pin point issues you may be having.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:22 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I do know, guys, want some Space and time to unwind after work, with the games etc..., I'd give him that time......... after work.......... Everyone's grouchy when they get home from work..... I'd look to incorporate, what your wanting, at a different time..... not then....
    Kay300

    Answer by Kay300 at 11:17 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN