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How can I get my husband to help me more?

My husband and I have 2 daughters age 1 and 3. On his days off he sleeps past noon and then stays in our room playing on the computer. For the last few days our 1 yr. old has been sick so i havent had any sleep. i went to bed early and he stayed up. she woke up at 1am and he didnt even get off the couch when i told him she was crying. i had to get up and get her and make a bottle. I dont understand why he just sits in his room with the door closed and doesnt help me out more with the kids. and then expects me to please him at night, but after taking care of 2 kids, the house and all the errands i dont have the energy. if he would help me out more i may not be as tired..i need help

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jmartin1282

Asked by jmartin1282 at 10:05 AM on Jan. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Well have you told him thats why you never have sex? That might give him some motivation Lol. Maybe hes suffering from depression?
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 10:18 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I'm assuming he works full time outside of the home? What did you think a stay at home parent's job was? Didn't you realize that having children was a 100%, 24 hour, 7 day a week job?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:19 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Instead of asking for general help, ask for help at a specific time, such as on Thursdays from 8 to 10. Or Sunday afternoon. During these times you can have your time off. He should have some responsibility for the kids. Perhaps he can have a specific job with regard to the kids- say he is the one who handles bath time. Or he is the one who... gets them to clean up their toys. He needs to realize that he is a parent and that he therefore has responsibilities towards the children, not nearly as much as yours, of course. It must be understood that he does work full time and so he is very tired when he comes home. And he needs time off, too. So sit down and work out a schedule where you'll each have some time off. He'll also benefit by having more interaction with his children. When a child is sick, then he should expect to help out more.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:38 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • i know just how you feel!!!! I have an almot 4 yr. old, a 2 yr. old with Down Syndrome, who is still not walking, and a 7 month old. My husband also sleeps past noon almost every day. He does work until 2am sometimes, but he also chooses to stay up until 5am watching TV. He has his own business so he can work any time he chooses. I know we have bills to pay, but I hardly ever see him. The mornings are crazy with feeding 3 kids,changing diapers, nursing, ect. I also have to do all of the grocery shopping, Drs. appts, other errands, and everythin elso by myself. All of my family lives in another state so I really feel alone!! Have you ever told him exactly what you needed from him? I feel guilty asking for help and i am now used to doing everything on my own. It is just easier for me sometimes that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • by the way, it takes 2 to make a baby, so it should take 2 people to help raise the children!!!! I know stay at home moms jobs are 24/7, but the husband could still help out in some way
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • You have to be very specific, and ask him in a polite way, even if you want to smack him with a frying pan!
    Men are not intuitive creatures, and sounds like yours is not a natural care-taker, so you have to tell him exactly what you need. If he refuses, I'd get a lawyer. Sounds pretty selfish to me.
    3gymnastsmom

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 10:55 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • yeah EIRELASS...I see your answers posted around and most of the time you just irritate the hell out of me. This answer, however, PISSES ME OFF! I wish you would just go away already...you and your judgmental, ignorant ass.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • What are you a stalker with no balls?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 5:20 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

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