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When I ask a question, he ignores me and doesnt answer

Theres a lot of times where I'll ask my boyfriend a question, and he'll completely ignore me and wont answer. Yes, he did hear me; he chooses not to answer me.

I cant stand that! First off, thats rude, and secondly - its immature. He does it when he doesnt like what Im asking or if im not saying it with the most pleasant tone..

Example...

In the morning when my daughter wakes up, I go downstairs to use the bathroom, wash my face and make myself and my daughter some breakfast. So i need him to wake up for those 10 minutes it takes me, to watch our daughter. He throws a fit because I need him to wake up. Most of the time I come back upstairs, and he fell back asleep! So every morning now before i go downstairs, i ask him to sit up so he'll be able to stay awake while i'm downstairs. I'll ask "are you gonna sit up so you'll stay awake?" and he'll just lay there and wont answer me (his eyes are open at this point). And I just sit there waiting for him and he finally goes "you can go! Im gonna stay awake!" But you know how many morning i've heard this?

So i ask again if hes gonna sit up, and he'll just ignore me, or answer "quit being stupid and just go."... UGH! What the hec? Why do people ignore you when you ask a freakin question?

Answer Question
 
meganrst

Asked by meganrst at 9:04 AM on Oct. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,610 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think it is the way that your are asking it. To me, it sounds like you are treating him like a child. I don't know the whole situation but it sounds like the best thing to do is wake up before your daughter, do what you need to do, and then wake up your daughter.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:11 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • When you aren't angry, have a conversation with him about how it makes you feel. Do not be accusing. Just state when you do.....I feel.... Don't tell him it is childish or be accusing or anything like that. Just be calm and describe how you feel when he does it. Yes, his behavior is childish, demeaning, and rude but telling him that isn't going to fix it.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 9:12 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • Awww HAIL NO! I wouldn't put up with that chit! Either he would have to get it thru his head that he needed to reply to me and stop calling me names or he would have to leave. Is that his baby? Is it your place or his? But heck no, I wouldn't be putting up with that. Or the next time he asked me a question I would serve him the same dish he served me. Tit for tat, and I'm usually not that petty but damn it's a simple question and he can't respond....red flags would be going off for me. Don't put up with verbal abuse you and your baby girl deserve better than that. Get strong now cuz if not you'll always be treated like chit and soon you're baby girl will see it and think that chit is normal.
    Ladybugkisses76

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • JeremysMom has a good point, but I took the morning incident as only one example of this behavior. I would probably start getting up before the child too. Still have the conversation though. That is how successful partners communicate.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 9:14 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • Wait till u get married it gets worse
    sango4507

    Answer by sango4507 at 9:41 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • I'm struggling here with the fact that you have to wake him up just so you can wash your face & prepare bfast... why??? I'd be grumpy too if I were him. You need to invest in a bouncy seat or play pen or exersaucer - depending on your kids age, so you can take them downstairs with you.

    As far as him ignoring you - I bet it your tone. Barking orders and demanding things is hardly the way to get people to respond to you.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:51 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • My ex use to just ignore me when I said stuff, it killed me... but with your example I agree with orionsgirl. Especially If its not his child.
    momofkamnlela

    Answer by momofkamnlela at 10:16 AM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • i can not answer this because its only one sided. Many times people only tell what the other person do but not what they do 1) she might be yelling at him (thats a big no no i wouldnt move either 2) he maybe tired from working all night (and someone yelling at you while ur tired is a hell no) 3) how old is ur daughter 4) do they not have a bathroom upstairs that you can use while you wash ur face and brush ur teeth I mean this is nonsense and one thing a man hates is being control by women. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE TO YOU. I am not saying you done these things to him but we dont know the full story so to get an honest answer you wont.
    86alysha

    Answer by 86alysha at 1:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • Our room is like, once you walk upstairs, its just one huge room. I dont take her downstairs because my stepdad smokes like a chimney! Otherwise I would. Also, i try not to carry my daughter down the stairs much because im pregnant and have clotting in my uterus and was told to take it as "easy as possible". When I ask him at first to wake up, i honestly ask nicely. But after calling his name 20+ times and him keep falling back asleep, and ignoring me, thats when it makes me irritated. I'll admit - i do yell at him when it gets to that point, which i shouldnt! I always end up feeling bad! That was just one example though lol. Its just the fact of him ignoring me when I ask questions. Drives me nuts lol
    meganrst

    Comment by meganrst (original poster) at 1:31 PM on Oct. 1, 2011

  • tell him how you feel, and let him do the same
    it may be that you both rub each other up the wrong way, and can change that
    RobynL

    Answer by RobynL at 1:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2011

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