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I'm annoyed at peoples opinions' that a SAHM's "job" is parenting and being a maid.

Why do some people think that a SHAM is responsible for everything in the home? Kids and cleaning and whatever else!

I am a SHAM and am not a servant to my husband or kids! After a 12 hr shift I don't expect my DH to walk in the door and get to work scrubbing the toilettes or anything. I do expect him as a father to help with the bed time routine.



Asked by AmandaH321 at 11:54 AM on Jan. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • absolutely not... and neither does my hubby when he gets home from work he helps equally. :)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:02 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • On his day's off however it's a great help to me that he does stuff around here. I'm busy with my kids during the day doing activities and going places (park, play centres or shopping). I do steal breaks during the day but feel that I'm entitled and that they are needed so I can be at my best for the kids. I keep up with basic up keep as far as cleaning goes but on DH's days off I expect him to help or take the kids and do something with them so I can get things done without interuption.

    Do you think SAHM's should be responsible for everything in the home if your DH is the "bread winner"?

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:54 AM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I think it is going to be different in each household. Yes, my "job" is to take care of the household and that includes cleaning, taking care of our son, making sure all the bills are paid each month, taking care of my husband, etc. My husband works from 7 pm- 7 am for 7 days and then has 7 days off. As far as bedtime routine goes, of course, I do it on my husband's work week and I do it on his off week as well. The main reason though is because I know the routine and I know what my son wants/expects/needs. So in our house I take care of everything in the house, our son, and my husband. My husband works full time, goes to school full time, and plays with our son. That is his "job". The only other thing that I would like is for my husband to pick up after himself. If it doesn't happen then I'll do it myself. No big deal to me.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:02 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Both jobs are hard. I think you should do it because you don't go out in traffic and deal with clients or customers all day. If he respects you then it is ok.

    Answer by Godswk at 12:08 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Each household has to figure out what works for them. When my husband was a SAHD we expected that he do most of the housework and give me more time with her than doing housework once I got home and we'd share the parenting. When we both worked we both expected that we'd share the housework, the time with Roo and the parenting. Now that I'm a SAHM we expect that I do most of the housework, share the parenting, and give him time with Roo once he gets home.

    That is what works for us and thats what we do. His household expectations are to clean up after himself, do the dinner dishes when I cook and take out the trash. Beyond that...just help when I ask for it. (Like if company is coming over and I didn't get a chance to pick up the living room or vacuum...he'd help)

    Answer by jaycee1124 at 12:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I'm a SAHM and I will hiring a maid soon; that's my xmas gift to myself. It'll piss of my husband but tough ... he's not willing to help (and I don't ask for much, just to pick up after himself and help a bit with the kids) ... so I see this as the best solution.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I'm a SAHM and i do everything in my house, but my husband helps with the children and cooking but hates cleaning and i exceptthat because that was what the deal was when married. I love cleaning aroundthe house and everything seems so easy even with 5 young children. My husband works from 7am until 6pm sometimes the times change because he has a very demanding job but he loves it and it pays extremely well. I would not say we are maids but we are women that bring up our children and are able to spend more time with them unlike working mums, who are amazingly able to do that to (i wouldn't be able to lol).


    Answer by Mummytomore at 8:10 PM on Jan. 3, 2009