A short while ago, in this section, there were numerous questions and answers from adoptive moms dealing with issues from their child's birth mothers. The biggest issue I noted was the birth mother's constant need to control how the child is being brought up. And I also noted that in these cases, the birth mothers were still rather young (late teens to twenty-ish). And with all the above mentioned cases, the adoptive parents were still working to keep the birth mother involved with the child's life, but were uncomfortable with the amount of control the birth mother was wanting/insisting on.
I understand wanting to keep your word if an open adoption was promised, but I don't understand how the birth mothers were able to continue to control the situation. I am a birth mom. I only recieve pics and updates. Had visits been included, I would never have dreamed of interfering in such a way. Cont:
Answer by Southernroots at 1:32 AM on Jan. 4, 2009
Answer by randi1978 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
I can only speak for my son's other mother: she has never once insisted that we raise our child a particular way nor has she criticized us. I did ask her for advice yesterday when she called. She has older children she has raised. She did feel more comfortable placing him with us when she found out we were of the same political party and had similar world views. But it has also been my experience with other friends who have adopted or with contact from other birthmothers that birthmothers do not want to dictate how that child is raised. They simply want contact - to know that the child they love and care for is being treated fairly, is still alive, is being raised well....to be reassured. I don't think that is too much to ask for. It really is the very least that could be done. I personally think that when adoptive parents get all in a wad - it is usually of their own self created drama.
Answer by frogdawg at 1:29 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 1:31 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by randi1978 at 2:18 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by lisa89j at 2:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by Lyndall at 5:40 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by Jill42721 at 7:11 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 9:23 PM on Jan. 3, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Jan. 4, 2009