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is it wrong if i take away his rights?

my son father started a new family with the woman he left me for he doesnt even bother to call or see my son when he says he is going to do something for him it turns out to be a lie i dont want to take away his rights cuz then its going to look like im angry at the fact that he is with someone else so how do i go about this? he is only three years old

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jan. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • actually if your sons father hasn't seen him in ONE year making ANY contact at all no cards letters phone calls visits ect ect and you have made attempts you can get him for willful abandonment . i had the same problem with my daughters father and 2 years later he isnt allowed anywhere near her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I don't see the point in taking away his rights. I can see why you are upset with him, but what good will taking away his rights do?

    Answer by AmiJanell at 3:22 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I may be completely wrong in this but I believe it may only be the State that take away parental rights. And even then it has to be for an abuse case or some reason in another extreme i.e. drug use. If he still pays child support you would loose that if he didn't have parental rights. You may just want to not go out of your way in including him in your child's life and he can see him whenever he pulls his head out of his rear end and remembers he has a son. (that was harsh..sorry) If your son doesn't have much contact with his Father just make sure you provide him with great male role models within your family or church. Hopefully in the future your child's Father will see what he's missing out on and decide to become an active Father in his son's life. Touchy situation...I'm sorry you find yourself in it : ( Best of luck to you.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 3:29 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • you should make suer to tell your babysdaddy that when the kid is expecting him to show up and he doesnt thats much worse than not ever even calling in the first place .when i tried to get custody of my daughter my babysdaddy acted like he was going to fight me in court bet when the hearing came he forgot to show up so i he lost all his rights, but the legal system is so complicated and varies from state to state so you should talk to someone who knows the law in your area.

    Answer by mudgirl at 3:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • It depends on the state-Where I live, if the parent does not pay child support, does not come to see the child/contact the child/the custodial parents about the child in anway for 18 months, the custodial parent can sue for the removal of rights of the non-custodial parent. Of course, it doesn't really do much good unless you have a wonderful new spouse who is head over heels in love with the idea of adopting your LO. Unless that happens, or you can prove beyond any doubt that your child will likely be in danger in the care of your ex, the state is no tlikely to grant your petition.

    Answer by TempestRayne at 3:55 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • In your heart, you know what is best for your son. Do your best to protect him from the disappointment of his father not showing up. I would not make any plans with his father and I would never tell your son to expect his father, only to have him not show up. I would not terminate his rights unless there was abuse or he was a danger to the child (drugs, alcohol abuse, etc.). I have no advice about how to explain to your son about his father starting a new family. That is going to be very difficult to grow up with. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Are you in a relationship? My friend was remarried when her son was 5 and he grew up telling everyone that his Daddy chose him out of the millions of children in the world without daddies. It was so sweet. He grew into a wonderful young man. Your boy can too, especially with a mom who cares so much and is trying to do right by him.

    Answer by DeTora_Family at 4:17 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I wouldn't let him play games that's for sure...if he is supposed to call and doesn't or come over and doesn't and it's upsetting your boy...I'd go to court for a modification. It's not healthy for a child he feels like the dad doesn't want him or doesn't care. It would be in the best interest of your son to have set days that he can visit and maybe if he's limited he'd make a point to put his son as his number 1 priority.

    Answer by britni11 at 4:48 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • you can terminate rights if the other parent has had NO contact (incvluding paying C.O.) AND you have someone that is going t adopt your child. Other than that just let it be. DO NOT tell your child that daddy's coming unless its 100% sure (unless you can't avoid telling him) -- I dont tell them until he is on the way.
    You can go for Sole custody if you don't have it, but even if you have joint and he does nothing, whats the difference. If he has set visitation rights you may have those modified but other than that why even bother, unless there is a specific reason you want to terminate rights or change custody (SO wants to adopt, movingfrom the state etc.) just leave it as it is and go on with your life.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:04 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • You can't take his rights away. And the state is not going to terminate his rights because he is with another woman.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 6:28 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • All I can say is, you live in your life everyday and in your heart you know what you should do. Deep down, the true answer is there. Also, pray for your ex. I take all my problems to God. I know some folks don't like talk like that, that is just what I have to do..

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:29 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

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