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I really dont want to stay away from my friend

I am so sad that is has been a week since I've had any communication with the man I use to work with and I am in love with. I haven't seen him since feb but I dont think I can take the heart break this time. I sometimes tell my mom Id rather not wake up. I am not suicidal because I have children and I want to live for them. However, life doesnt seem to mean anything... I don't know how to get over this... Ive never fealt this way before about a man and I am in my thirties... I use to be in charge... I have lost myself in loving someone else.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I have been there. I couldnt get out of bed. I feelt like I wanted to die. I promise time will heal your pain. Just try to pray to god to take away your pain. Remember it gets eaiser
    muslimmom

    Answer by muslimmom at 10:59 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. Do you think that your feelings are really about who this person actually is or more about loneliness or a desire for security? Is the lack of reciprocity the only problem in this situation? Sometimes I think it is possible that we can fall in love with the fantasy of what we want this person to be but in most cases they truly aren't those things at all. Hormones and other parts of our biology make it easy to fall into what feels like a teenage crush but with time and staying busy those feelings will fade away. Do you have interests or something besides you kids that you can use to feel the void that sounds like it may be eating at you? Do you attend church? That may sound cheesy but in my own life I have had the most positive experiences when I use that extra energy to get closer to God rather than drive myself into depression. I wish you luck Mama!
    shancali

    Answer by shancali at 11:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I would suggest trying to blog about it somewhere you can choose to keep it private or show to whomever you feel safe with. Sometimes getting the feeling out on paper can help so much that before you realize it your a little better at a time. I must agree with shancali that getting closer to God would be an idea way to feel better, he can bring great peace and tranquility to you if you let him. I pray for you to feel better. Good luck and God Bless...
    wondermommy5

    Answer by wondermommy5 at 11:09 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I am sorry to hear about you heartbreak, I have been there too. Like one of the posters above said, time will heal your wounded heart.

    My only advice would be to give yourself a new goal. Give yourself something to make you proud when you accomplish your goal. Be a little selfish, go to the spa or take a little trip. That always helped me.
    sondrajoy

    Answer by sondrajoy at 11:10 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Ok... I have been trying...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I think just about everyone has been in your shoes at one time or another. The best way to get over one man is to find another better one. Try Match.com or Yahoo Personals. After my divorce I tried Match.com and that is where I met the father of my second set of twins and we are still together and happy. Good Luck.
    preciousneine

    Answer by preciousneine at 4:20 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • You have kids sweetheart.Have you thought about seeing a therapist?I do know how you feel-sometimes you feel like your nothing without a man.but it sounds like your depressed.How long has this been going on?I can't tell you how many times I have been through this myself and with friends.Maybe its time to go on an antidepressant so you can figure out where this is coming from.For yourself and for your kids you need to do something!Either tell this guy you are in love and want to be with him and if he is not reciprocative thenit's time to move on and figure out why this is debilitating you.If you had 9 other great men in line would you still be devastated?I have a book to refer to you am I allowed to recommend it?I'm not sure-if your open to it if so-write back!I'm sorry your heart is broken.I hope I can help!
    hollid

    Answer by hollid at 9:46 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Through the years when I was hurt I'd write how I feel down in words in poems and such.I also agree with the poster above about the lord.The lord surely has helped me heal.We are human we all sin,no one is perfect and we all make mistakes.But you just have to try to move forward
    I will pray for you.and you can ask a pastor at a church,you can call up any church local to you and ask for prayer or advice
    I am truly sorry the communication between you and this guy has ceased to exist.Its time to move forward and if its meant to be with this guy he will come back to you if not there could be a great guy out there you just have to have hope and faith.
    Most of all love yourself,then others will love you.
    Do things that make you happy,become active,
    start to do things that make you smile
    May it be going for a walk,writing,singing,etc.
    Whichever hobbys you like,do them.
    raindiamonds

    Answer by raindiamonds at 1:53 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Yep, I just can't believe the great sadness I feel plus it comes with alot of other things going on. Yes I am depressed and have never fealt this bad. I have been exercising getting my body back in shape it doesn't seem like anything I do helps. Pray for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Yep, I just can't believe the great sadness I feel plus it comes with alot of other things going on. Yes I am depressed and have never fealt this bad. I have been exercising getting my body back in shape it doesn't seem like anything I do helps. Pray for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

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