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my daughter is too darn attached to me. please help.

i have a 4.5 month old baby girl. she is too attached. she does not wanna be put aanywhere. i have to hold her all day everyday. i swear ive tried everything. if i put her in her crib or in her rocker or swing for a minute she will start screaming bloody murder i mean to the point of actually choking and gasping for air.. i pick her up and she stops. she does not wanna be in her crib, stroller, bassinet, swing, rocker, anywhere i swear she has every toy made to entertain babies. aquariums, mobiles everything. she doesnt sleep either. takes 15 min nap and thats it. she hates being swaddled, help me please

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Asked by laurabebe at 5:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (11)
  • It sounds like you need to try some sleep training. Maybe if you conquer her sleep issues that will help her overall disposition. There is a group on here for baby sleep issues. Also look up sleep training on the internet. i would also talk to the Ped. to get some advice. But I am pretty sure that once you improve her sleep, she will be happier.

    Answer by momof2boys423 at 6:23 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • You poor thing. Does she like her carseat? If so take her places so that you wont be holding her... Some babies prefer sleeping in their carseat as well. Have you tried getting a wrap or sling? This wouldn't help the clingyness, but remember this wont last forever. It probably wont last much longer, and you will miss it. Try to think of it that way. Good luck. Does she sleep at night?

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 6:23 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • My son was a very needy little guy so I bought a baby bjourn and just wore him where ever I went. They go in and out of these stages for awhile. Usually by the time they're 2 they ignore you so enjoy it now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Part of it is because you carried her for 9 months and she feels safe when being held. Imagine what it would be like to switch places with her. You can fight it (making both of you miserable) or you can carry her until she feels safe enough to not be attached. Someone posted not to long ago on here that babies are like this because we are the only mammals that don't have a natural defense to our predictors and they rely on us to protect them.

    Answer by reflect1light at 7:24 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Frustrating, I know! My younger DD went through a stage where I not only had to hold her, but I had to look at and talk to her--and her alone--when she was 2-4m. LOL I used to get so frustrated---I love her to death but I had a 2yo and a house to take care of!! But it was a stage, and she got over it. As she gets older you can keep encouraging independence. Once she is really able to enjoy toys you'll get a little break! Now my DD is turning one, and I miss my demanding little tiny baby.

    Answer by stacymomof2 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • My kids were like this, it's normal. I just wore them in a sling until they were past that stage. My almost two year old was the worst and now he's so independent I have to beg for cuddles. It'll pass and then you'll miss it. Enjoy while you can.

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 8:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • It sounds like you may have a high needs baby, nothing wrong with that. Mine went through a stage very similar to that. I lean towards attachment parenting and didn't have the heart to let her cry it out. Instead, I used a baby wrap and went on with my normal business, baby in tow. She outgrew it quickly once I started towing her everywhere, she resisted and wanted to be on her own in no time! Good luck, I know how hard it can be!

    Answer by MommyJanelle at 9:24 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • We went through this too but luckily it didnt last long. Try a baby bjorn or a wrap. It works wonders!!!

    Answer by GraciesMommy25 at 10:17 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • You mean your baby, who you carried in your womb for NINE months, now NEEDS you at only FOUR months old? Sorry, but this is what you signed up for. It will pass. And don't try sleep training unless you want an untrusting, insecure child. Sleep training is cruel. INFANTS are not meant to sleep through the night. People who think that they should, shouldn't have children, because babies = lack of sleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Well she's still pretty young, babies that age really need their mommies :) It is tough, and when were having a hard day like this, I just remind myself that I am a MOM, and I need to stop thinking about everything else that I am, because being a mom is first priority. Being a mom also means tending to a baby 24/7, which can get very frustrating for ANY woman. I have to remind myself of these things quite often :)

    Anyways, it might make things alot easier if you buy a sling or any kind of baby carrier. That way you can get other things done without your baby screaming.

    I'm a young mom also, so feel free to PM me anytime!

    Answer by kate_jocelyn at 12:44 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

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