If your dd was with a guy you thought was abusive-what would you do?

It would depend on how old she is, as a consenting adult there is not much you can do but offer support. If you go attack the guy you will cause tension between your daughter and you.

Been there, done that. Including taking a gun away from the young man. A week later she decidied she was ready to leave him and mom was there again in her pjs in the rain, bringing police to handle the situation and garbage bags to get her stuff.

I was a single mom, so I always made it very clear that it wasn't my daughters' dad they had to be afraid of. It was me. I got a reputation for being a crazy little b****, but none of my daughters is married to an abuser now. One ex son-in-law called me a "force of nature" after I told him he wasn't going to have to worry about the legal system if he ever struck my daughter again because he would be dealing with ME.

Abusers try to isolate their victims from their families and friends. If you stay in your daughter's life and wait for her to be ready to leave, it makes it harder to isolate and abuse.

Having been there in my own life, I would make it very clear he disappeared from her life or else. Abusers are cowards when confronted by someone ready to face them head on. My dad stayed out of my life, all that consenting adult tripe, until I called one day and said my boyfriend wanted me out of our house and asked if I could stay at their house. My bf started yelling in the background and my dad and uncle showed up about 15 minutes later. Suddenly, loser bf is nowhere to be found. There is no way I'd let some worthless piece of crap isolate my daughter from me.

My dd is with a guy who is abusive. There isn't much I can do. She is an adult and chooses to stay in the relationship. I will be here when she decides to get out and I will help in whatever way I can. Until then, I can only tell her about my concerns and hope she makes the decision to leave.

He would get his ass beat prison style! First, I would get my daughter away from him, and then I would make sure he paid. However many times my daughter told me that he's hit her, pushed her, called her a name, etc., that's how many times he'd get a little shock. I'd take my son with me, and we'd make him pay with a plugged-in lamp cord minus the lamp.

I'm in this situation now, but my dd is 29 years old and is an adult and apparently makes her own choices. I have gotten in the middle of this so many times, I have attacked her bf myself! I have taken her children and told her she was not taking them back into that, after a week she claimed she'd left him and wanted her kids back, I agreed then later found out she was lying. Her oldest dd who will be 12 tomorrow stays with me all the time now, she says she is not going back there. I have talked and talked til I"m blue in the face! She knows he's abusive but always ends up making excuses for him. I worry every night that I'll get a call from a hospital or the police. I am the full time babysitter for her kids while she works, so at least it limits their time with him, and I get to check them out and make sure they aren't being physically hurt too. But the emotional, mental abuse they are going through, they hear the fighting,

If a woman is "in love," she will forgive the jerk anything & prefer to get away from anyone who says bad things about him. You getting in his face could just make her cling more to him. You want to make sure that your child understands that you are available for support whenever she needs you, so you need a gentle approach. The other thing is that whatever is in her that chose the creep is still there & even if you get rid of this loser, it's likely that she'll just find another one & tell you less about what is going on.

Cont....they have even seen some of the pysical abuse. I've been through so much with my dd, I just don't know what I can do anymore, I have told her if I hear of them fighting while the kids are there I will take them. That's all I can do at this point. Sorry this got so long, just got me started, lol.