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not such a good situation...advice please.

my husband and i are going through a divorce and he hasnt been there for any of my pregnancy...hes been taking care of his gf and her kid....i break down sometimes and im afraid it will happen while im in labor. what can i do to prevent this? it just really upsets me that hes not there for the birth of his first child. my situation is a mess and i have great people there for me but it just hasnt been the same. my parents hate him so i dont wanna start crying or anything while im having my baby. what should i do? lol. such a mess i know.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jan. 3, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • when are you due? if you are trying to get him to come then he might not want to and will want to be an a$$. if you have a few weeks till the due date then dont talk to him for a while untill the week of when the baby is due. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • ok, when you're in labor, Every emotion is going to come out. so if you lose it infront of your family, atleast you got it out!! it doesnt matter how much they hate him, he's the father! and its YOUR decision wether he's in the kids lives or not..not theirs.but if i were you, id go get child support.
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 11:41 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Wow Im sorry, You know what you probably will cry while labor, I did I was so scared!! Tell your parents and who ever else is going to be in the room ahead of time that if you start crying to just try and console you the best as possible. Tell them not to bring him up and try and keep things light and positive. If you start crying try to keep it to a sob. Its going to be rough without him but keep in mind that you have something even better than him coming into you life! Something that you will love even more than him!
    ArmyWife112908

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 11:42 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • i dont want him there...i just dont want to be thinking about him at all and ruin the moment. we split up before i found out i was pregnant and he had someone in our apartment that week...i havent seen him since july except for once when they spied on me. his gf has caused alot of drama and ive had to call the police on them. he has no interest in our baby so i dont want him around...i just really dont want to ruin this. and im due in the beginning of march.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Im sorry.. I cant imagine what your going through.. If hes not there at least you can have family there that loves you and will be excited to see the lil one.. :( men and their girlfriends..
    MiSs.SmOkEy

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 11:43 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • i would rather him not see my baby then get child support only bc he doesnt drugs...has gotten over 10 traffic tickets in two years...and just totaled his second car. plus his gf is legally insane.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • It sounds like your in a tough situation and I'm sorry that you have to worry about this. I hope that it all goes well for you, maybe if you make a birthing plan, and practice the relaxing parts (breathing with background music) it might help keep your mind focused while in labor. But I did have one question come up and it's totally off topic... Have you filed for custody yet? Even though he might not seem to want anything to do with the baby now he might later and if you haven't gotten legal custody he could take the baby whenever he wants until legal custody is established. good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • I really feel for you. I say it is worse to keep it in then to hold it in for your family. You are entitled to cry especially after all you have been thru. My advice is try to think of the good that he brought you in your child and the people who truly do love you and are there for you. And be happy that he is no longer your problem. If he is so bad I am sure that it won't be hard for you to keep him away from your child. Good luck I will be praying for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • ive talked to my lawyer and i cant do anything til the baby is born but he wont be on the birth certificate so he has no legal rights until lhe is proved to be the father which could take a month or more. plus he shares a room with his brother...theres no room for the baby there...and he has 2 felonies on his record and probation...he wont get more than every other weekend at most.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • When you go into labour bring someone who you can be totally honest with and really trust. Tell the how you feel now and that you may break down during labour and what they could best do to help you through it. Surround yourself with positive people who love and support you.
    Best of luck to you!
    Congradulations btw on becoming a mommy!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 12:06 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

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