Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have to be the only one...right?!

I have such a problem with sex. I can't let loose. My DH asks me whats wrong all the time and he thinks it's him. I tell him it's not. It really isn't him. I have always been this way. I am afraid to try new things for some reason. I freak out! It is so bad that I have never given my DH a BJ. I want to though. I think it might be because i am afraid that I might be doing something wrong or that he won't like something. This goes with positions, talking dirty, everything. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense to anyone here...I sure hope so! I don't know any other way to really tell it. Is anyone else like this or have any problems at all?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jul. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • OK. Have you ever tried to just pretend? It may be just as you say your concerned he will not like it, talk about this with your man. Tell him that your worried. Most things when brought out into the sun will wither and die. It is ok to feel nervous but maybe time to experience new things. I hope all goes well and try to act as if you may be surprized and enjoy yourself. Good luck!
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:15 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • could it have anythign to do with your upbringing? like if you were brought up in church, you may feel you are being lewd or whorish. just try to remember that as long as its done in love, with your husbnad, it isn't wrong. and most men enjoy teaching their lovers how to do what they like, the way they like it. ever notice how men like younger, less experienced women?
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:29 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • um...yeah. I'm 22....My DH is 35. And it has nothing to do with how I was brought up. I was always taught that it wasnt anything to be ashamed of and to be myself and be open with it. I don't know what my problem is....it's gotten worse in the last few months.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Can you PM me and I will reply to you on there?
    HomeBoundMama

    Answer by HomeBoundMama at 12:55 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • maybe try a glass of wine before hand to get u to loosen up a bit. its so much more fun when u relax, and u can always ask him if he likes what ur doing, and if he doesnt, then have him tell u what he would prefer. as for the talking dirty, i feel like a goob sometimes just cause i dont always know what to say.
    kissmiss213

    Answer by kissmiss213 at 1:14 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Are you attracted to him lately? (Seriously, this goes in waves sometimes. Been married 15 years - since I was younger than you are - and the answer wasn't always yes...) Sometimes when you don't want to let loose it's because you are guarding yourself from an invasion of something you don't really want that minute. It's not irreversible tho...it just takes some time to get past.
    Sam_K

    Answer by Sam_K at 5:17 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • i think siting down with him and leting him now how you feel could be good. try something to maybe get you in the mood. or even roll blaying so u can pretend to be some one else and start off acting. then as you act more u will get the hang of it. also rent a porn watch it and do what they do that is how i learned to give head and S.O. loves it. its like taking a class on how to do it.
    lovelyme1006

    Answer by lovelyme1006 at 3:54 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • I know where you are coming from. I am exactly the same way, slowly coming out of it though with my husbands reassurance. I think mine is mostly about the fear of doing something wrong or for whatever reason he wouldn't enjoy....sounds crazy I know! Like mentioned before, it has nothing to do with my upbringing either, and no....wine doesn't help the situation!!!
    tlclinard

    Answer by tlclinard at 4:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.