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i need help

I just got divorced im 18 with a 7 month old baby her dad has nothing to do with her he didnt call or get her anything for christmas..now that im dating someone else he is attatched to her as if she was his ...would it be right if she knew him as her daddy? instead of her real father?

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haylinn1019

Asked by haylinn1019 at 1:06 AM on Jan. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Yes. I am the mother of three girls, only one is belongs to my DH. Their biological father hasn't seen or spoken to them in 3 years. Steve loves them, and in my eyes he is their father. Your baby will grow and form her own opinion of her sperm donor. Whatever you do, DO NOT trash talk him in front of her. Let her learn herself, and let her love whoever loves her. Being a parent and role model doesn't have to mean biological. Love and respect is what matters. Good luck, you have a long road ahead of you.
    steveswife1130

    Answer by steveswife1130 at 1:19 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • If you and your new man get together, as in get married, something showing that "Yall" are a family, then i wouldnt see a problem with it, just make sure how your boy friend feels about it. just be sure before you let your little daughter thinks he is her daddy. I wish you all luck
    TammyG.

    Answer by TammyG. at 1:19 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Of course it is alright. Your daughter is lucky to have a "father" that loves her, even if he is not her biological father. Kids need all the love they can get in this world, parents, step parents, grandparents, etc. I hope you two work out. That would be a real blessing.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:19 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Absolutely i think of my step-dad as my dad i havent talked to the man who got my mom pregnant in almost 4 years besides for him to tell me i was a bad mommy when he dont even know me and has never even met my daughter
    aubrees_mommie

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 2:07 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • My brother has 4 kids. One from his first marriage. Two from his second marriage. And one from his ex-wife's first marriage. The last one I mentioned has a loser for a father and he has called my brother his dad since he started to talk. Even though his mother is no longer married to my brother, he still comes over with the girls for my brother's week. He would rather be with my brother than his own father. Even though his biological father hates it, there is nothing wrong with it. He chose what he called my brother.
    (cont)
    casperskitty

    Answer by casperskitty at 2:46 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Let your daughter make the choice on her own. You can refer to your boyfriend as daddy, but don't try to make her call him that. And make sure you show her pictures of her real father and call him daddy (or father or something like that) too. It would be a disservice to her to just ignore the fact that she has a biological father. One day she will want to know him and you don't want to be the reason she doesn't. Let her loser sperm donor be the reason
    casperskitty

    Answer by casperskitty at 2:46 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Let's wait until you get a ring on your finger and a full time commitment from the new guy before you start labeling him as "daddy".

    I mean, really, the baby's so little - you certainly have time and no need to rush.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:21 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • you know what, i dont think that the biological father should be considered daddy just because hes a sperm donor, because anyone can be a father, but it takes a special man to be daddy, just make sure that when she is old enough to understand, you tell her, because then when she does find out she will feel betrayed.... my husbands biological father has had nothing to do with him since the day he was born, he even gave up parental rights before he even met him!! so you do what you think is right for you and your daughter, but dont feel obligated to do anything
    x_tinky_x

    Answer by x_tinky_x at 2:48 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • i was in that spot just a few years ago and i allowed them to call my bf daddy it took some time for me to be ok with it and the kids just kept calling him daddy and i kept trying to correct it it was so bad my older daughter who was 2 at the time would tell her little sister who was almost one that they were going to see HER daddy (the little ones daddy) even though she knew he was her father to when i decided to let it go and let them call him daddy (my BF) i talked to him and explained that daddys are suppose to walk away and if he wanted to allow them to call him daddy it was up to him but he needed to understand their own father had already pretty much walked out on them and if he allowed it he was making a commitment to them even if we didnt work out, yeah he walked out too about a year and a half later and didnt look back but really its up to you
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 8:03 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

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