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Separated parents. One parent trying to convince the child they are better.

My son's father is trying to convince my six year old that living with him would be better. He has gone as far as convincing my son that it was my fault we broke up. That I was stupid and his grilfriend is smarter and that is why he left. My heart is breaking inside because I feel like I'm loosing my son. If you have any suggestions? Should I cotact a counselor?

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Sillymemommy11

Asked by Sillymemommy11 at 1:47 AM on Jan. 4, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • Yes, you should contact a counselor and you need an attorney. The counselor should see you and Dad....he needs to understand that he is really hurting his child.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:50 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • yes to previous post,lawyer and counselor.You need to go into court to tell a judge what ex is saying because sometimes they will court order that ex has to see son in the presence of an official until he gets help resolving his issues.The counselor so you and son can learn to deal w/ex's behavior.Ex is being an ass and I hope u are not believing his crap.You are a great parent simply by asking for help here instead of being like him and playing the game.Try to stay as calm as possible when ds tells u stuff and simply say"well we know that is not true, so too bad dad is having a hard time right now."Poor kid-i would love to smak your ex.hang in there mom-get that lawyer.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:54 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. Just know this, later on down the line in about 3 to 4 yrs, your son will figure out the truth without you saying a word to him. I wouldn't bad mouth his dad or that cheap trick girlfriend. Talk to a professional and get an attorney. Document everything that happens. Everything, every time, be meticulous and take his ass to court. Judges look poorly on parents that do this. Please don't stoop to his father's level and bad mouth him. Your son is 1/2 his father and bashing him is bashing your son. I wish his father could see how he's hurting his child. Good luck!!
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 2:28 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I have experienced this for the last 6 yrs... first of all, YOU BE THE ADULT, even if the father cannot. What is truly sad is the father is the one who ends up losing in the end. My ex tries to buy our daughter with everything but hasn't paid a dime of child support (he is a dr. too) in5 yrs. He bad mouths me, his mother has actually mailed letters bad mouthing me to my family, etc. Get a lawyer, document, document, document, take your child to therapy, and most of all -- be a loving, patient mother and person no matter what!! Your child WILL see the truth. If you have to vent, have a good support person, see if you can have therapy too or at least some good friend's shoulders to cry on. In my state, it is against the LAW to badmouth the other parent as it is emotionally damaging to the child. I definitely feel for you. Good luck
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 9:11 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • read up on PAS and they can get in serious trouble for it. In the mean time, keep to the higher road. Don't say ANYTHING bad about dad or gf or anything to/around DS (come vent here).
    Bring this up in court. talk toyour lawyer about this
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:11 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • you are a good and loving mother and your son will see this someday,as for your ex he is still a child himself if he has to do this to his son. you get some help for your son and yourself be the loving and caring mother that you are god has a way of taking care of everything just ask and have faith,also we are here if you need help my prayers are with you and your son.
    summie321

    Answer by summie321 at 10:59 AM on Jan. 21, 2009

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