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2 Bumps

Do you take off your wedding ring when your DH/SO is deployed?

A new friend of mine's DH is currently TDY in Korea. She calls him her husband and they've been together a long time, but she doesn't wear a ring. I was just curious if this was some kinda military couples thing?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Oct. 9, 2011 in Military

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • It sounds shady to take a ring off while your DH is deployed. But maybe your friend doesn't have a ring. Not everyone does.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 4:30 AM on Oct. 10, 2011

  • a lot of women will refer to their s/o as their husband, especially if they've been together a long time. so there's a possibility that they're not actually married. you said she was a newer friend of yours, so you might not know that. not exactly something you ask a person. "hi, i'm susan, are you ACTUALLY married to your dude?" lol
    i've never heard of someone taking off their ring when their man is deployed, but i've heard of them cheating behing their backs, and i would imagine wearing a ring would deter that.
    you could simply ask her. you could strike up a convo about rings, etc. she might say something like, oh when dave and i actually get married, i have THIS ring picked out. you never know.

    Answer by AngryBob at 2:09 AM on Oct. 9, 2011

  • They might be engaged and just not married yet. I'd just ask her straight out and say you noticed she doesnt wear much jewelry and weave it into a conversation maybe faking your own story about some weird allergy you had to different metals when you were younger.

    However, it is also fairly common for cheating to happen. I can relate several stories of friends who've been cheated on, friends who dated the cheating spouse (that never told them they were married and that the spouse was deployed!) etc. She may be considering a divorce but just hasn't gone through with it or is still getting some benefit from staying married until he returns. I'd just observe her behavior and reconsider if you really want to be close friends with her. When the truth hits the fan, don't be in the middle of it and don't be the messenger

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:19 AM on Oct. 9, 2011

  • It could be a number of things- what was previously mentioned, cheating, an open marriage, a lost ring, etc. But, no I don't take my ring off when he is deployed.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 8:01 AM on Oct. 9, 2011

  • When my DH was deployed I not only wore my ring but his has a thumb ring too. he left it so that if anything did happen that we both knew that I would have the ring.

    Answer by shineyllamatues at 12:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2011

  • Maybe she just doesnt want to wear it because its too big or she doesnt like wearing jewelry. Maybe she doesnt have one?
    I know once mine got a little loose and I didnt want to lose it so I didnt wear it until I got it resized once. i never go without mine though now

    Answer by XOXOArmyWife at 4:48 PM on Oct. 10, 2011

  • LOL! No, I don't take it off just because he's deployed. I don't stop being his wife when he's gone. My wedding rings don't fit anymore, not really. They are too tight. But, I have rings he brought back from last deployment, I wear one of them on my wedding finger. I don't always wear rings though.
    But not everyone has a wedding band. IDK, see if you can steer a convo with her about it, and find out if they are actually married or not.

    And I've seen civilian couples not wear rings, it's not like NOT wearing a wedding ring is just a military couple thing.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:41 PM on Oct. 10, 2011

  • I just wanted to make sure this wasn't a common deployed thing. Like a "you take my ring & I take yours" but his ring was just too big for her or something. I don't think she's doing anything shady while he's gone. Just curious. I didn't want to ask her cause really its none of my business and I didn't want to pry. I also don't really care if they are really married or not or if she just flat out doesn't have a ring. Again, just curious.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • Ugh no!! My husband puts his around his dog tag chain because he doesn't want to lose his. The only time I take mine off is when I am exercising because my fingers swell

    Answer by Izsarejman at 6:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • I've been married for 11 years, and I don't wear my ring (mostly because I gained a LOT of weight when I got pregnant and haven't been able to shed them due to stress and no motivation to do so, etc.). My hub has no probs with me not wearing it, either, because he doesn't wear his due to his job (very dangerous). But no, its not a common practice to take off your wedding ring while your hub is deployed, unless it goes on his dog tags that you're wearing while he's gone.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 6:45 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

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