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How cam I get my 6 yr old to quit throw fits. I have tried rewars charts and special outing for behavior and it is not working any ideas.

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lyttleladies

Asked by lyttleladies at 11:50 AM on Jan. 4, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • ignore them. don't be in the room with her when she has them. tantrums need an audience, so if there isn't one, they end up stopping faster. just make sure there's nothing in the room that can hurt your LO or anyone else. you can use a monitor to listen out for her as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • a well balanced discipline strategy uses both positive and negative reinforcement. punish for the fits and reward when he is good. you can do this any number of ways - a merit and demerit system, of flat out punishments like standing in the corner, removal of goods and privileges, spankings - whatever floats your boat, and flip side new privileges, praise, treats, outings etc when he is behaving properly.


    you must also be sure your rewards charts are exceedingly easy to get rewards on. like daily or even hourly to begin with. being good for a whole week is inconceivable to a 6 year old and if he can never achieve the reward, it will never be tangible and worth earning.

    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 12:00 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • read www.unconditionalparenting.com .
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 12:19 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Does she have any other weird or over-the-top quirks or is this the only one? Sometime when she is calm, ask her what she feels like during these melt-downs. I have a history of them myself, along with a life-long slew of other issues, and it turns out I have autism. It can be very different and hard to find in high-functioning girls. I know, I know, these days every one and their brother's cat's step-uncle has autism, from personal experience I can tell you not knowing and being that way is sheer hell. I have a link about HFA in girls if you want it. Message me. "Designer Diagnosis" or not, no one should have to grow up like I did.
    roachiesmom

    Answer by roachiesmom at 12:45 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • 6 years old is pretty old to be throwing fits. Most children have stopped by this age unless they are a particularly difficult child or they are being rewarded for it. They only need to be rewarded (get what the want) every once in a while in order to keep trying it.
    A book that really helped me with my 5 yr old who was still having tantrums was "Kids Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcina. It is only about $10 and worth every penny!!!
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • The first few times my daughter threw a fit, I just walked away. She doesn't do it anymore. I started that when she was 2.
    eryndiane

    Answer by eryndiane at 4:40 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the first comment. Don't give him/her an audience.My daughter use to do this and it bothered me to no end but it wasn't until I got tired of being frustrated and just walked away that she would stop.Then I would have to stop and ask myself well what am I doing to warrent her actions? meaning am I showing her that if she doesn't get what she wants it's ok to act out, how do you react when things don't go your way? Kids many time mimic what they see in some way. I know I use to have my lips all poked out and my attitude would change when I couldn't get what I wanted and I'm grown so why wouldn't I expect my child to do the same.But that's just me.
    MRSDUNN2008

    Answer by MRSDUNN2008 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Thank you all for the advice
    lyttleladies

    Answer by lyttleladies at 7:51 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • When she throws a tantrum at home, walk away and ignore her, when she realizes she is no longer getting attention from it she will stop. If she does it out in public I would spank her butt.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:42 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

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