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why do some many women SETTLE for less in some relationships?!?

being mutually in-love is a beautiful thing...& it saddens me to see so many women taking the backseat in their own relationship. statisic says its their self-esteem, but i feel it lies beyond that;as well..... alot of women risks their own happiness for their significant other, some are aware of the deception, some accept the disrespect, some just plainly settle for less. i want to say to those that are experiencing that- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE love urself more....want more for ur child(ren)....n know that u can do bad by urself!!!!! SpicY

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Asked by at 2:00 PM on Jan. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Its probably cuz they dont wanna be alone

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 2:02 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Not wanting to be alone is a self esteem issue too though. It is self esteem or/and continueing cycles they saw growing up.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • You are so right. I don't know why some women settle for less. I believe at times I'm doing the same thing and trust I don't have low self esteem but after 9 years together you grow with that person as I did. I don't experience cheating or abuse but I don't experience the kind of love I actually want within my marriage. It's hard letting go when kids are involved as well. My kids love their father think he can do no wrong but at the same time I still feel things are not the way they should be. I'm lost and still have no clue what to do.

    Answer by MrsTGray at 2:08 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Great post hun

    Answer by Lizamafers at 2:23 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I think it is a self esteem issue. Some women feel like they cant get a man and then when they get one they do everything they can to hold onto him no matter how bad he is. Women have to set standards and have certain expectations when going into a relationship. I refuse to just settle when I know I deserve alot from a man becuz I give my all when Im in a relationship. Women have to love themselves first before a man can give you the love you think you need when its really just settling.

    Answer by Krystle21 at 2:31 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • In my marriage I've come to accept that my husband isnt the romantic at all he doesnt like to cuddle unless it means he's gonna get something,he never kisses me or puts his arm around me, and he doesnt ever hold my hand as i see most couples do,I basically feel like a nothing to him, and my self esteem has done a total downward spiral. I've told him it bothers me that he is so distant and cold to me,he says thats the way I'am. I sometimes feel like leaving to find a man that can really love me the way I want to be loved,but for the sake of the kids I stay,I dont want them to be without a father,if I left he wouldnt be a part of our life he's told me I would never see him again, kinda makes me think maybe he really wants me to leave.If a man truly loves his family wouldnt he fight for them to stay?

    Answer by MarGeee at 2:33 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • The sad thing is he use to say "hey thats my lady noone can have her, "she's my soulmate' and I know some women say hey give him a kiss and hug before he goes to work, I sometimes feel like a stranger around him,like sometimes I feel awkward around him,I know its bad we've been married 11 years he says he loves me sometimes,but then theirs times I think he's getting cold feet.

    Answer by MarGeee at 2:38 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Oh man, I know! I used to be one of them. It took a long time for me, learning the hard way. Only to find out how simple it is. I will never compromise my happiness AGAIN. To me, the key is a willingness to be ALONE rather than settle for a man who is not going to be good for you. I've actually heard one of my good friends say "well, at least I have a man". With her it is plain fear of being alone. I lot of women confuse sex for love too, and can't tell when a man really doesn't care about them. I wish I had a magic pill for all women to get it immediately!

    Answer by hopelessnance at 3:16 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I have a friend in this situation and when I ask her why she stays with it, she says because she loves him, because she doesn't want to financially support all of the children, and because she's not ready to let him go. Out of respect to her I tell her I understand and then when/if she ever does leave I'm there for her and the children. I respect her so much as a person I question not her reasoning, but do let her know she can do better and she's worth more in a life-long partner, and she is beautiful and smart and wonderful... this is all a family/friend of somebody like this can do.

    Why do people settle... I don't fully know past what I've been told, nor I think will I ever as I haven't been in their shoes. I do know I am lucky to have my husband and the love we have for each other, but I feel for anybody who does settle.

    Answer by Knightquester at 3:35 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Its the fear of being alone, I know I have been guilty of this in the past and you just don't want to be lonely

    Answer by rockerqueen at 5:13 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

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