Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i just posted but... yeah..

so i am 11 weeks pregnant,
and well yeah.
my boyfriend does stress me out to the max.
but im only 16 yeard old and I really dont want to raise a baby by myself.
and mike will sometimes say that he is excited about it.
but he doesnt have a job, nor is he looking for one.
I have one it may not be really good but its there.
and I know that I love mike and all but
when his grandparents sit there and hand him money,
he doesnt want to spend it on anything but weight bench.
and i told him how i felt about it and all he said was that
"well I have to get big so that I can fight thos guys off."
I just wish I knew what to do about him.
I love him and will always love him to the end of time.
but I really dont think that we are ready for this.
but I think that we should give this baby a try.

or should I just dump him,
and then just send him pictures of his baby.

Answer Question

Asked by ashleyxbrooke at 4:49 PM on Jan. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Again at 16 you guys dont know what you are into. Hes young and immature and girls mature faster then boys. My dds friend had a baby when she was 15 and her bf was 16. He didnt get his act together for about 2 yrs. Now they are 19 and married and expecting another child. She just let him go and moved on with her life with her child. She provided for the child with the help of her mother, and eventually even had to cut off all ties with him and prevent him from seeing the baby bc he was drinking and partying alot etc. He got his act together though and now they both seem on the same page. Dont push him or baby him. Concentrate on yourself and the baby. If you dont think youre ready for a baby look into adoption.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:52 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like he is just young and immature and has no idea what he is in for. Good for you for having a job and wanting to give the baby a chance. If you don't think you are ready for parenthood, at least give the baby a chance. A baby is a blessing no matter what and even if you don't want to or can't raise it, there are thousands of couples out there who would love to riase your baby. Adoption is the best option in these situations sometimes. Please please don't do anything like abort this baby. I have dealt with infertility and miscarriage and I know so many people who had walked in those shoes and would love to adopt a baby. I hope your boyfriend will grow up and take some responsibility, but if he doesn't and you don't feel like you can do this alone, please consider adoption. Best wishes to you and your little one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • i went through the same thing, but my sons father spent his money on drugs...but still, i didnt think i could do this, even WITH a boyfriend. at 11 weeks, i was considering adoption, so my baby could have a good home, good parents and a wonderful life, but i fell more in love with him, especially when i found out he was a boy and got ultrasound pictures. so, in the end, i struggled a little bit, but my family and friends love me and helped me, and I am managing it on my own. you have to talk to him seriously about parenting. if he cant handle it, but you want to, then you can do it on your own. but if you dont, then adoption is always available. its a big decision, and alot of hard work. good luck :)

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 4:56 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • You just need to do whatever is best for the BABY in all aspects. If you baren't ready, and you need to think about that, then maybe you can put it up for adoption and see to it that family who really wants a baby to love will have one, then if you decide to keep it you need to decide that for sure and then no matter what Mike does or doesn't do you have to do everything in YOUR power to raise the baby in the right way.

    Answer by HayleyGM at 4:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

    It will be hard if your bf decides not to participate but since you BOTH got into the situation then you're just as responsible for it as he is however he should grow up and take responsibility for his actions too. And there is always going thru the court system to make sure he pays child support. Does he know you can legally hold him responsible? And always keep in mind its not going to be easy....only being 16 you're going to have to sacrifice so much for this other little person you've brought into the world.

    Answer by HayleyGM at 4:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • well seeing that your only 11weeks tell him he has a few months to get his act together otherwise he can see your child through pictures. even if your job is not the best its still a job and you can always get state aid help if you really needed it. they will help you from food, medical, housing,. im not saying go and take advantage of it, but it will help you till your finished with school and get a better job.

    Answer by vadasmom at 4:58 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Well sorry but that is a young man for you. He is all about his self. I would give him conditions and if he hasn't met them. Then you can decide if he's worth keeping around. Good luck

    Answer by Ann7227 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • it's called using a condom, if you were not ready for the consequences. you should've taken EVERY precaution to make sure you didnt get pregnant.. my ex is still not happy about it, and im having this baby friday and it wasnt exactly an accident on either of our parts because we didnt make sure it didnt happen.. and he is almost 30, so at 16 i think your b/f is handling it like a normal young guy would.. as far as he is concerned, he doesnt have a responsibility yet and he can spend the money.. BUT if he is not being good to you i would leave him

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 5:47 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I am not going to say what you should have done or anything considering I got pregnant at 17. But, the thing that you have to think about here, is not do you love him, but does he love you? I mean, really love you. If he does, he will want to improve your life and make things easier on you. And you also have to realize that as cold as it sounds, its not about you at this point. I had to realize that too. Its about what is best for that little angel in your tummy.

    Answer by medmaster2006 at 6:23 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I was 19 with my first and the father still wasn't mature... Don't get your hopes up and think a baby will change him. It didn't change most men young. In fact men get away with tooooooo much! While you're at home with baby he will be living his life as if he was single. Even when you get older men tend to be this way. I hope he will be there but odds are you are on your own with the exception of your family I hope. When you choose your next man see how he treats his parents. The reason I say, your next man is because odds are you wont be with him even if you think you may love him soooo much and can't live without him. I believe you go threw 4 major changes in life and who you were at 16 is not who you will be at 21.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
Movements at 30 wks