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5 Bumps

Help with dead beat husband and father

Married to husband for 3 yrs have 2 yr old daughter, The first year was bad, he wouldn't pay for his truck so they took it. My family co sighned for him a car so he could get back and forth to base a year later he would not pay the payment so my folks are paying for it. The first year elect was turned off 4 times for non payment same with water, phone. He went to Iraq for a year he only sent 400 a month for his daughter and I to live on the day he left he took the last 90 dollars we had left with him. My mom can and took us home with her. When he got back from Iraq he was broke and had to take out a loan from his family to get us a place to live. I stayed for 2 months then lefted because he went and bought a dodge charger for 700 a month we were split for 6 months he sent 200 for his daughter whenever around every month a 1/2 He also gets BAH. He talked me into coming back and going to counsling when I got there I stayed 2 months and he would not set it up, I have left again for good this time he was 2 months behind on rent, 2 months behind on elect and phone was shut off for non payment. Didn't seem right that he had a working phone, plus he wears shoes that cost over 100, pants cost over 100, and his sunshades were 280, while his daughter and I wear things from good well. In the last 30 days he as given me 200 I can't make it on that. Thank God for my mom and dad but it is getting hard on them I just need someone to tell me what to do. I tried to talk to his commander but noone called me back. I JUST NEED HELP

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2011 in Military

Answers (16)
  • Get in touch with his command. They don't like deadbeat dads. He has to pay a certain percentage for each dependent. Then get in touch with JAG. Have all documentation. Even without documentation, they will find the percentage he owes and garnish him if need be. I guarantee you, the more persistent you are, the more they will deal with him. If his commander won't listen, try his senior enlisted leader. Usually that person is an E8 or E9. He will pay!! Just have the facts. How much he hasn't paid and the military will figure out how much he should pay.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 6:14 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • Thanks alot, I really don't want him in trouble because there is more than I told u about, I tried to go to school but with no money for day care I had to stay home and take care of my daughter. All I want is for him to pay for his wife and daughter. I am now enrolled in school and once I am finished I can take care of myself still need his help taking care of our daughter. I ask him about BAH and he called me a money grubbing B----! LOL. He is still a Husband and father till I can file and get my divorce and I believe he should act like it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • i agree with everything izsarejman said. i am very happy to hear you are planning on divorcing him, you deserve happiness and a good man in your life. this guy is irresponsible and needs to get his priorities straight.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:17 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • turn him into child welfare, im glad your not with him,
    oredeb

    Answer by oredeb at 7:19 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • absolutely got o his CO if his CO does not contact you within 10 days, got o a higher commandign officer, keep going up that ladder- they will help you , I know because our grandchilds father got busted BIG TIME for not taking care of his daughter, they ordered him to pay 1/2 of his pay until we go to civil court.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:27 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • cant you file for food stamps ,medicaid ,cash assistants -i always thought the wife got an allotment check to cover rent ,food, ect or they lived on base and had a card to go to commissary store -not sure what else that you havent mention and im not saying this to bash you but just curious as to why women ask what should they do and when told they say oh i dont want to get him in trouble --why not if that what it take to get him to help care for the child -he doesnt seem to care if the baby has what she needs -i just  dont understand ----

    needtochat

    Answer by needtochat at 7:40 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • probably because he could actually get booted from the military and once that happens, its hard fro them to get a job.....and as bad as the job finding is that would be real bad.....BUT she def. needs to go after him. And if the CO doesnt knwo the circumstances, the soldier can allot whateve he want to the spouse and until they complainthere is nothing that can be done.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:43 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • The Commander is not going to kick him out. Go talk to the commander in person and tell him everything. There may be more to the story but the fact that he won't pay for a roof over his daughter's head and makes you shop at Goodwill while he blows a ton of money makes him a jackass in my eyes.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 7:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • Thanks for all the advice, and yes he would get kicked out and then where would his daughter be, believe me if not for my daughter I wouldn't care what happens to him. And with all ur advice I will start taking care of it tomorrow, Now that I know who to talk to and know that they will help changes everything. I thank u from the bottom of my heart.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:21 PM on Oct. 11, 2011

  • Go to Child Support Enforcement in your county and file for child support. You don't have to be divorced and the money will be taken right out of his check.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:26 PM on Oct. 12, 2011

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