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Is this jealousy? or as she says am I "self centered?"

My maid of honour or ex maid of honour I guess, I have always had a problem with my weight and though Im 105 lbs. its hard for some to understand in High school I was on the dance team and I was expected to be a certain weight all the time i went anorexic my first 2 years and then my senior year I got pregnant and it was the end of the world for me getting fat just because I was so uptight about my weight. Well today my MOH brings up that she is going on a diet for a wedding and then says but its not for skinney perfect people like you. And then she called me a self centered brat, we have always been in many fights I've been stressed for the wedding and she never seems to have time to help me plan out so we have gotten in many fights over that and then today she told me she was too fat and not perfect like me so she'd ruin my wedding.. CONTD


Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Jan. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Your MOH should be someone you really feel truly special about. Getting married is a wonderful, nerve-wracking experience, and you don't need a bit of drama to add to it.
    If you truly love this girl, tell her how she is making you feel and what you need from her. It may be that you have hurt her and don't really know it.

    I think you should ask someone else to take care of this special responsibility.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:02 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I told her that wasn't true and she said how could I ever know what being fat really was and i told her hellooo I've had a baby I know whats it like and she said thats different because you can just lose it all and I said not true i just got lucky this time. My fiancee thinks she's jealous because I am getting married, I look good because i work out and eat healthy, and I have a precious baby. What do you ladies think? Please no bashing I'm already hurt from one of my best friends thinkg I think Im better than everyone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Your fiance is right. She is jealous and being a downright brat! That's just very immature. She's feeling bad about herself and taking it out on you. It's not your fault your thin and she's not. I'd just give her time and not call her or anything until she calls you and apologizes.

    Answer by feesharose at 7:17 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Doesn't sound to me like she should have been your MOH in the first place if you fight all the time. ??? She doesn't even sound like a friend. She is very jealous of you and such a hater! I would cut your losses. Have a happy marriage and don't regret it. After all she is the one who has quit on you.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 7:33 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Get a new MOH! She sucks! She is not a good friend to you at all!

    Answer by GraciesMomLJP at 7:36 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • being pregnant doesnt mean your fat! thats saying all these pretty moms to be are fat!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Well yes, it does sound like she is jealous of you. But the fact that you fight over the fact that she doesnt have time to plan things out with you? Aren't you in charge of planning things for your wedding - not your MOH? You may be getting married, but Im sure she also has a life beyond your wedding.
    I think both of you need to chill out for a while and stay apart.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:04 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I think there is more to it than just this... There has to be a reason she would say something like that, other than just plain jealously... maybe a comment made to her by someone in the wedding, and unfortunately, you seem to have a weight issue yourself. Instead of making her feel like she's the jealous party because she is heavier, how about you explain some of your issues to her (sorry having a baby excuse doesn't cut it), but the anorexia would sure help her understand that you have dealt with a lot too. It just seems like you are both competing instead of being true friends.. besides just because a woman is heavier does NOT make her ugly. It's what is inside that should matter between friends.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:14 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • "we have always been in many fights"

    Why in the world continue in this friendship at all if that's the case? ALWAYS?

    Doesn't matter what she thinks. Not a bit. She's wrong, by the way...but that's unimportant. She is NOT a friend. She's someone you happen to know, and someone whose opinion is not important.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:30 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Both.
    Yep, she sounds jealous, but you do sound like a self-centred brat who thinks she's better than everyone.. Just the fact that you needed to jump to the conclusion "oh, she's just jealous that I'm pretty, thin, have a beautiful baby and am getting married" supports it.. That and expecting her to drop her entire life just to plan your wedding?? You need a reality check- this is YOUR special day.. Everyone else is just going to be annoyed at waiting for you to take pictures, and a dinner that follows way too long after the ceremony..
    And when you think you have "weight problems" how can you expect her NOT to be jealous?? Sounds like she actually does struggle with her weight, so you're basically tearing her down, albeit indirectly, when you do make a fuss over yourself.

    Answer by Liyoness at 10:53 PM on Jan. 4, 2009