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Do you ever forgive a best friend who betrayed your innermost secrets not only to your husband but to other friends?

Well...that about sums it up...do I forgive her??? She supported me through many tough times but when the going got tough she went straight to some other friends that I don't care for and my husband and shared my deepest, darkest secrets and then didn't have the balls to tell me what she had down. So....what do I do? I miss her, but don't think that I can ever trust her again. Woud you even give her the opportunity?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Jan. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • People deserve a second chance. She especially does if she WAS a good friend. I would try and forgive her, but I really wouldnt be so quick to forget about it. You can be her friend, but no one would blame you for not being able to trust her. (At least for awhile)
    GraciesMomLJP

    Answer by GraciesMomLJP at 11:21 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • do you know secrets about ger? I know its childish...but I would feel beter if I told hers lol
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 11:22 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • i would forgive for her but not cause she deserved it really but rather cause it takes a toll on you when you don't forgive the person of what they have done wrong. it's for your benefit and also allows you to get on with your life and to have a free spirit. has she come to you? forgive her but whether she deserves you as a friend is another matter. that only you can decide.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:34 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • It would depend on what the secret was to me. If she told them because she was worried about you, I wouldn't like it, but maybe she was trying to help, to get someone to give her some ideas on how to help you, or maybe she was shocked at what she knew and wasn't sure how to handle it. I have a friend that I think of like a sister and she does some things that scare me but the difference is, I tell her how I feel about it, and I've told her I've talked to other people about it (not secrets).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:40 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • Yeah, I had a best friend that betrayed me last year. She sent my husband pics of herself in a bubble bath and tried to lure him into an affair. He didn't want to tell me because she was my friend and he didn't want to hurt me...I found out on my own. I tried to choke her in my living room but she ran before I could get to her...I'm still looking for her though...she owes me and I'm gonna get paid...in full.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • depending on the secrect and I just couldnt trust her. I find it very hard to gain that trust back
    seasnakesc

    Answer by seasnakesc at 11:41 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • It really depends what kind of a friend she is & if she will be good for you to keep in your life. If she WAS a good friend, What was her reason for telling anyone your deepest secrets? Was she worried for you & felt like someone should know because she was having a hard time dealing with something that you told her that could harm you, so she wanted to get help for you OR Did she tell someone just to Gossip or for spite? Decide what is best for you & ask yourself questions on why you want to keep her in your life or why you shut her out before. we all have missed friends from the past because of great memories but friendships sometimes come & go. Mine ended up being more harmful for me instead of good. Just make sure she is worth starting a friendship over again & if not, then I would suggest meeting new ones that will prosper with you in greater ways!

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 11:45 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • If you miss her, I'd try to start fresh with her. But to me, trust is the biggest part of the friendship. And if times got tough again or something came up, could you lean on her and trust her not to blab your business again? I couldn't. I would keep her at an arms length, It does seem like she may mean more to you than you do to her. Especially if she didn't even have the guts to tell you what she'd done. Proceed with caution.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:51 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • you can forgive her, but I wouldn't trust her with those secrets again. I have a friend that did that to me... we still talk and hang out, but I never give her anything that will come back to haunt me later.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:54 PM on Jan. 4, 2009

  • I would let the relationship go...call it quits...don't need a friend like that...especially best friend...I would never trust her again...sorry.that is how I feel....trust is a HUGE thing...without it...got nothing...
    surpriseat41

    Answer by surpriseat41 at 1:08 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

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