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Why the stigma for Americans married to Immigrants?!

I am spending my life with a wonderful man, who is in all ways the love of my life. I happen to be very blonde and blue-eyed; he is a Mexican man with black hair and big, soulful brown eyes and skin the color of burnished pennies! When we go out, it never fails- there is ALWAYS someone giving us hard looks or making snide comments. I know this is also comon for couples of other ethnicites. We live in a small comunity, very conservative, and way out in the sticks- VERY rural. Probably 95% of the people here are white...
But what gives?! We love eachother, and HEY people! It's 2009! We're not living in the 1800's anymore! If I want to spend my life with my gorgeuos, loving, wonderful Mexican, why should anyone think ANYthing of it?! Isn't this a stigma that should have died out decades ago?!

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ChelaRenee

Asked by ChelaRenee at 12:09 AM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • WOW !! I am so sad that happens to you ! We live in a really small town but I've never seen that! You're so right !
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 12:11 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Hey babe! How ya doing!?
    I think that ignorance will always be out there but I also believe that the face of America is changing due to in part of multi racial couples like you and me. What gives? The cycle of ignorance passed down from generation to generation. What helps me is to just completely ignore those who hate me and embrace those who live a life of love and acceptance.
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 12:12 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think you worry too much about what other people think.

    There's always going to be someone that looks down on you or makes rude comments to you about something. You just have to learn to ignore it and be the better person.

    We've ALL had someone do that to us...it may not be because of who we married...it could be about the area we chose to live in, the school our kids go to, the decisions we make whether we vaccinate or not, breastfeed or not, etc. There's always something that ticks someone else off.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:13 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Sorry for your experience.


    My spouse is not per say an immigrant, but, because Americans in general have no true idea of geography or what constitutes the US, they think he is not a US citizen. We even argued with the woman at the marriage license office. She put down he was a non-citizen on it and refused to change it. even though we told her she was wrong and he was a US citizen.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I sorry girl... I know how you feel.. my brother is one of my best friends, and he helps me out a lot with my daughter... my daughter is mixed, and when we go anywhere we get really bad looks from people because they think we are together just because we have a stroller and they think he's dumb because the kids obviously not his.. some people only look at things how they want to. I know obviously he's my brother and we both like to shop, and obviously my daughters not his, that would be wrong in so many ways, lol. But it still amazes me how many dirty looks we get... especially since when it's just me and her I get a total opposite reaction, people always come up when it's just me and comment on how cute she is. It's just weird.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:24 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • WELL I WOULD MOVE TO A NEW PLACE I COULDN'T LIVE THAT WAY I'M WHITE MY HUSBAND IS BLACK WE ARE HAPPY WERE WE LIVE NO PROBLEMS WHY STAY THERE IF YOUR NOT HAPPY ???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Well, now, I didn't say I'm not HAPPY where I live... I just get irritated sometimes... ONe night an old guy walked around the corner in the grocery store and gave us the nastiest look... I walked over and smiled sweetly and asked if he knew me or Juan. He was very adamant that he didn't, so I asked him politely if he's a Christian. "Of course I am! " he snapped. So I smiled real sweetly, because my Mama raised me with manners(LOL) and said very nicely, "Oh, good! Then you know the Bible says 'thou shall not judge?!' " And walked away... Left him speechless in the aisle behind me! I personally thought it was hillarious!
    Anyway, it's not that it bothers me too much usually. I have a hold-my-head-high attitude. And I am proud of Juan. but sometimes I wonder why people think they are qualified to judge...
    ChelaRenee

    Answer by ChelaRenee at 12:36 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • My husband does not like people knowing where he is from because their are so many racists and judgemental people. We get dirty looks too because we are a biracial couple with a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • It's not where you live, it's just the people living around you.. not going to change where I live because of a few dirty looks... lol. Like OP said.. it just gets annoying at times that people still can't get over stuff superficial issues like race.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:56 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Well chela the same thing happens to me sometimes when I go out with my husband & son... I live in a very HUGE city & there is people that live here from everywhere... So yes we do get dirty looks ALOT but does it bother me NOPE...Yep I agree with you it's 2009 not 1909 lol..... People just really need to get over it. But anyway I love what you did to the man in the grocery store..How funny
    mamitoachicano

    Answer by mamitoachicano at 6:42 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

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