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Is it bad that I haven't seen my MIL since Sept 1 2007 and she lives 20 minutes away?

We don't have a good relationship, she always talks shit behind my back, and I hate it that her and her husband are always with there jealousy saying that only my family gets to see my son which thats not true. Me and my hubby like to be together with our son as a family and we don't want any drama so we try to stay away from our family. My MIL never calls to ask for our son anyways a whole year can go by and she wont even bother that she wants to see him, but they do try to put everybody against us, there so imature.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 AM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Maybe the reason they act that way is because you dont see them...they are probably hurt and thay is understandable..
    The only way to fix this is to go over there and I know it will be hard but you have to "fake" nice. No matter what they do, just be nice and dont say anything rude to or about them. Eventually they will respect you....but it isn't fair to keep their grandchild from them....
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 2:32 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • What does your husband think?
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:44 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • my DH doesn't like his mom he never has and it hurts him more that there not good grandparents, he hates the fact that they dont call and ask for our son especially because hes there only grandchild. They didnt even get him anything for christmas.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I don't see the problem.

    They obviously don't care - so take it for what it's worth and move on. If you enjoy drama, then try to keep in touch. If you want a sane life, send them regular photos and keep 'em on the Christmas card list but otherwise just act like they are distant relatives. I'm sorry your DH is hurting over this but I can't see where it's any huge loss. I
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:28 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think it's really sad. Only 20 minutes away? Neither my husband nor I go a day without seeing our mothers. I think he's forgotten that she is his mother.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:33 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • You sound immature too. You need to rethink your values and maybe buck up and give in a little bit. How do you know she is always talking--do you ask about it? Seriously, what part to do play and what responsibility do you take for the drama? I doubt you are totally innocent. Think about it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • The road goes both ways. If you have given them the feeling that they are not wanted around, they may just be respecting your wishes. So if you want a relationship with them, then reach out. Mail them a "Thinking about you" card with a small note to feel out the situation if calling is too big of a step right now.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 7:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I would be on the defense too if my MIL talked shit about me and my family!  Your husband needs to talk to his parents on being mindful of what words they say.  He needs to let his parents know what is being said. Grandparents can be such a important part of a child's life.  Your in laws only live 20 minutes away take advantage have the babysit while you and your husband go to dinner or to a movie.  Encourage your husband to take your son over to visit his parents once in a while.  Go visit as a family just make your visits short and sweet.  Invite your in laws over for dinner once in a while maybe if they feel welcomed they will stop with talking behind your back.  Why know the person who is telling what your in laws are saying may be just trying to cause trouble.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:13 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • DH and his mother have never gotten along. She shot his father when he was 5, hence my anonymous reply to this question. I have never met her and she has never met our son. We plan to keep our distance, as DH says she's always been crazy.

    Drama-free extended family with love and kindness is an awesome thing. Otherwise, they are not a priority. Immediate family (husband, children) are the top priority. Anyone who wishes to be in our lives needs to extend us the same courtesy that we offer, which is to mind our business and respect how others choose to live. If we don't like it, we don't have to be around it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • You know, I think it's fine that you haven't seen her. my SOs mother never calls to see about Abby and has only been over once since she was born in September- she lives 3 minutes down the road. My SO brings her over there sometimes when I'm not home, but I guess neither us nor she and her husband really have any interest in Abby and them bonding.. fortunately my family is totally in love with her and spoils her with love to no end. Oh well, c'est la vie.
    LishaBee

    Answer by LishaBee at 1:43 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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