Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ever feel you just failed at life???

Here I am nearly 30 years old and I feel like I have failed the life test. I really do have a great family. Wonderful kids, good hard working husband. But I am a sahm and feel like I do nothing! Maybe I just feel like what I do is unappreciated. My mil is always telling me I should have a sparkling house and do everything for my kids. Sure my house is straightened but wouldn't pass a white glove test. And there is always dirty clothes. I just feel like I am worthless Like nothing I do is ever good enough I quit school when preggo with my 2nd. And I so regret it. cont..


Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 AM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm sorry you feel this way! I too have these thoughts at times..your totally normal!!! It's because we're the type of person that wants to strive to be and do the best we can. We're too hard on ourselves! I quit school and never got the credits I needed, and I never went to college, this is a huge regret because I would have loved to have a career by now..I'm 30 on March 27th. I got prego last yr, my son is now 7 months..I plan on going back to school getting my grade 12 then going to college after that. I will do what I know I need to do, to make things better for me, and my heart!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • No I dont feel that way and I have been divorced & was a single mom who struggled to just pay the rent and put food on the table. I know everything I have gone through has made me the person I am today. My kids are good people, and I am a good person. I am remarried and have a great husband finally. I think we go through depression though as moms because being a mom usually doesnt make us feel much appreciation. Just remember that ole saying, in 100 yrs it wont matter what your bank account was or car you drove or how clean your house was. All thatll matter is that you were important in the life of a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Me and hubby aren't doing great he barely notices I am even alive! I dressed to the nines for New Years and you would have thought he was with the worse looking woman in the place. I assure I wasn't I got several looks saying just the opposite. So I just feel like I am a big old cow with nothing to look forward to! Cause dh is not going to notice me! Boy what time will do! Any of you just feel like you are in a big hole and need to get out!?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • How old are your children? Can you go back to school or work part-time while the kids are in school?

    In the fall I will be able to go back to work part-time, as youngest will be in full-day school (yay!), and part of my working will go to pay for my hiring of a once-a-week housekeeper to clean our bathrooms, dust, and tidy up the high traffic areas/bedrooms (you know the chores MOST of us dread doing!)

    Maybe you could do the same, and you will likely feel MUCH better about yourself!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:45 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Still me anon from above~ at 8:44...I think if your mother in law is making comments you should tell her you do the best you can, and you know that you may not be perfect but NO ONE is!!! As if she kept her house spotless I just love how they pull that shit, I'm glad mine lives 1000's of miles away! Lighten what you WANT to do, and don't let anyone tell you what or how to do things. Start doing what you think will better you as an individual, it's not always about our kids and hubby right?! If we can't better ourselves what good are we to them..they don't get a happy mommy. If you STILL even after doing the things you feel you need to do, feel that your not happy at all, then I think you should seriously check into antidepressants because you could have a depression issue that you can't control without med's...I'm not trying to be rude by saying that, it's the only other option when you've tried everything else!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • You know your life is full of so much meaning and you haven't failed life. From the moment you felt your little one inside you, you accomplished what many women desire and that is the gift of life. Life isn't about having a clean house or about being super organized or being the best Betty Crocker wife your husband could ever want. Life is more than just that and your children is proof of that. You know as a mom I sometimes feel unappreciated, because who doesn't want a clean house and kids that listen to you, but someday I am going to get old and my kids will be out and I will miss all those wonderful moments of them tracking mud all over my clean floors.
    Why on earth would you want to do everything for your kids, they need to learn to do things and be more independent.

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 7:57 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • You are not worthless and you have to love your self more and start by appreciating what your do YOURSELF. I stopped going to college after I found out I was prego with my first child, and I promised myself that I would return when she went to Kinder, but you know what on her first day of kinder I was in the hospital with my second little one. My ex was very abusive to me, not physicially but emotionally. He always made me feel as if I would never find anyone to take me with a child nor that I would ever finish school. I struggled financially when he was in our life, because he did not support us financially at all. I worked over 50 hrs per week to make ends meet and it was never enough, but I didn't let that put me down and life didn't stop there for me.

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 8:09 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • He missed all her birthdays, christmas, and every special occassion, because he was out banging anything and everything. We spend holiday's by ourselves and by the time I got pregnant with the second one I had enough, so I left. I was miserable just like you at first, because I felt that I had failed life and my kids. I worked my butt off and proved him wrong. I opened up my own business and I made it on my own. I met my husband now and we had our third child. I never gave up my desire to finish college, so I went back to college. I graduated from college at 36, so anything is possible. Just don't give up. Look at the beauty of life and not about the small things. Don't feel worthless, because you are special in many ways.

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 8:15 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • simplycreative i think you rocked it girl! I feel the same way and I think simplycreatives answer is fantastic. I myself have felt hopeless and sometimes when you feel this way these answers dont always feel right. But please take time to really feel these answers and they do come from the heart. Its important for you to have a supportive friend to help lift you when you feel so worthless. Beleive me I have felt worthless and I have brought myself so low that it was scary. But my resolution is to try to stay healthy. If I take care of myself all will fall into place. Im angry with your mil cause she doesnt make any sense talking like that! Hope you listen to us and know that you are a wanted loved beautiful human. blah to her and what she thinks.

    Answer by leeleesboys at 8:44 AM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think we all feel that way sometimes. Even the ones that have jobs because we're all replacable out in the work force or in the marital field but the one area that we're not replacable is with our kids. We'll always be the one that brought them in to this world. I felt like because I've never had a "real" job, that I wasn't contributing, wasn't doing anything but I am. I've got the most important job, being the one to teach my children the part of life that is most important to me... how to be a beutiful person on the inside but my pay is in hugs, kisses, you're the best Mom!, and lots of I love you's. To me, I am no longer worthless. I'm helping to shape who they are. I've done what no man can... be a Mom :) You can do online courses if you have little ones at home so if or when you're ready to go in the work force (from home or office)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:45 AM on Jan. 5, 2009