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4 Bumps

If an older child threw a rock at your child...

...which struck him/her in the temple (approximately an inch and a half from their eye), how would you react?

The child in question is 12 (going on 13), the child who was struck is 6.

While I was at work yesterday afternoon, my 6 year old was playing in our front lawn with his 4 year old brother while my SO raked leaves. Our neighbor's child threw rocks across the street at him, eventually striking him just outside of the left temple.
My SO waited until I had a glass of wine in me before telling me what had actually happened (wise move). Now, these neighbors are very good friends of mine, and this child is, well, a typical asshole 12 year old. However, there is never an excuse for this behavior... they came over (while I was at work) and apologized profusely, but I have not yet had an opportunity to address the child for his behavior. I do not want to go overboard, but- Well, how would you react? Seriously!!

Answer Question

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 4:39 PM on Oct. 16, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • "The child in question displayed criminal behavior by repeatedly throwing the stones at the child. The delinquent child was known to be a problem. While administering to the "bleeding" child, the caretaker should have informed the police. To minimize the nature of this incident merely creates the impression in the delinquent that he can get away with this kind of anti-social, dangerous behavior because you and his parents are ambivalent and clueless as to how to deal with this kind of crime."

    No, the child in question is not a delinquent, nor a criminal. He is a little asshole- just like *EVERY* 12 year old boy. Read my words, an asshole, *NOT* violent. This was completely out of character, and I did not until today, have the full story.
    His grandparents are raising him, always have, and he is completely locked down at the moment as a result of his behavior... There is no ambivalence here, just as there is no malice. cont....

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2011

  • I would have been pissed if that was me & I would have called the cops

    Answer by ZeenaS.Muh at 11:49 PM on Oct. 17, 2011

  • The caregiver (my SO) acted absolutely appropriately, and I would have been horrified and dismayed had the police been dispatched to confront a child who lobbed *A* (read SINGULAR) rock in my child's direction, which struck him.
    In no way am I defending his behavior, but seeing as he is an otherwise good kid with a smart mouth (read, he's an asshole) but is not violent, I do feel the need to address your zealous over reaction to something which should be dealt with between parents and children- He made a stupid decision, it has consequences. It wasn't criminal behavior.

    My own child played an active role as well, and is not a completely innocent party either... Which I suspected and knew that I had to be calm in order to objectively address this issue as an adult to come to a resolve.
    *I* know the difference between right and wrong, do you?

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 11:52 PM on Oct. 17, 2011

  • I am shocked that all of you (except for you... and you...) as parents, lack the ability to look at a situation objectively- then to confront the problem as an adult and in so doing, guide your child down the path of rational and responsible thought and action. The police are not a one stop shop for every dispute and it sickens me to my very core to think that you would have charged this child- this misguided, smart ass kid who is completely nonviolent, for making a stupid mistake.
    We *all* make mistakes, we have to learn from them. He is presently bogged down with 2x the yard work (including mine), grounded, has lost his computer and phone privileges, and even lost his Boy Scout activity on Sat evening as a punishment... Yeah, 13 and still a boyscout... a real criminal in deed!

    My son was apparently taunting & throwing holly berries across the street. He isn't perfect either, does that make *him* a criminal too?...

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 11:58 PM on Oct. 17, 2011

  • Brandy... Yes, he apologized, profusely! He was mortified that the rock had actually struck my son. He's not a very good pitch, and frankly had not been trying to hit him, he was simply annoyed by the noise my son was generating and made a bad call. My son was also disciplined for *his* role in this mess.

    Problem solved, whole story out. Everyone is guilty to some degree and paying the price for it in an appropriate manner.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Oct. 18, 2011

  • Glad you got it worked out!

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:15 PM on Oct. 18, 2011

  • I am so happy that everything got worked out,, I don't think that a 12 year old throwing rocks would warrant a jail term, bet that some of these posters would feel different if thier kid was the one doing the throwing,, and trust me every 12-13 year old boy I know has done something similar.

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:40 AM on Oct. 21, 2011

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