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For mommies with 2 or more children. Is the 2nd time around just as wonderful?

My husband and I are wanting to start on having another baby. Our son is 2 1/2 and we center EVERYTHING around him. My question is how did you feel after you had baby # 2. I know its a common worry and everyone says that you love them all the same but I'm worried. I'm worried about not spending as much time with our son and I'm just so in love with him that its hard for me to imagen loving anyone else that much. How did you deal with this and how did it change your relationship with child #1? Thanks for any help.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • It's just as wonderful the second time around. I love my first child for the special and wonderful qualities he has and I love my second son for his special and wonderful qualities. They are different people so I love them differently but with an equal amount of love. I also wondered the same thing before my 2nd son was born. I often asked myself "How on earth can I love anyone as much as I absolutely love my son"? It's simple...the heart can hold unimaginable amounts of love for your or many! Wow....I want to go up to the high school and hug both my sons right now : ) ....they would LOVE that...LOL

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Im going to admit i did change.. Dude is 5 and Jesse is 1; i made dude grow up.. There was no me helping him get ready.. Now i still pick out his clothes, cut up his food, ect. But he puts them on, he makes sure all the clothes and toys are out of the floor.. Now as for the love, no that doesnt change and worrying about doenst help eather... I do get on to dude more than jesse but the age diff is a big factor... Dude has gotton a lot more winny, needy, and stuborn; but thats kids thats what they do... We cant stop them from being jealous, thats in there nature... You just have to roll with the punches and get back up on that horse mama...

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 12:44 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I also didnt worry so much about the labor, 10 fingers, ten toes... Also im alot more laid back with the second one, it was just as great the second time around as the first... Dude was my baby, he got away with everything, now jesse is the baby and he gets away with tons more... But there is no favz here... It may sound like but they boyz get treated the same.. Same number of presents at christmas, same number of chicken nuggets, same happy meal toy, you have to make them both feel special on there time, not on yours....

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think that's the most common worry for moms going from one to two. We know we'll love child #2 in our heads, but our hearts just doesn't get how that's possible. Then child #2 comes, and our hearts wonder how it ever thought it was 'full' before. You suddenly realize there was a space for them there all along.

    How did it change my relationship with my first? I thought I couldn't love her any more than I did. Then her brother was born. She was something she'd never been before - a big sister. She's so amazing with her brother. It gave me this whole new thing to love and admire about her. So as much as I loved her before, I love her even more now!

    Answer by desert_diva at 12:52 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Op here. Thank you ladies so much. I do feel better. I'm so excited at the thought of having another baby but that was really worrying me. I guess I just needed alittle reassurance. :) Oh and by the way happy2bme7 I'm sure your boys would LOVE that.LOL

    Answer by ZakZaksmom at 1:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I have three. 6, 9 & 10 and I love them all the same and they each have thyeir own qualities that make them unique.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:00 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Your love for your kids doesn't grows.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 3:34 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • It is amazing how you think that you love someone so much that there can not possibly be any room in your heart for any one else but God has done an amazing thing for us by giving our heart the ability to grow. Number to will come around and you will find that you love them just as much as the first. Your heart will never reach capacity even if there is a number 3 or 4. When you see the love between your two children that is an amazing feeling to.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:38 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I'm going to be very frank answering this question.
    My relationship with my 2nd is better than with my first. It's got nothing to do with the child at all.. It has to do with me! with my olsdest i was 18 years old and not really understanding what it was to be a mother. I wasn't sure of myself or of anything in my life. I screwed up alot.. made bad choices reguarding my oldest (nothing neglectful or anything.. I just didn't get IT!) with my 2nd I was 5 years older... I was more comfortable with myself, I had some experiance under my belt and in turn have been able to parent my youngest better than I did my oldest. this may not be your case. I will tell you that while your focus is divided... your love is always multiplied.

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 8:05 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Every bit as wonderful, and in some ways, more. You're more experienced, so there's less awkwardness. And you know how quickly the early days pass, so you pay more attention to commit them all to memory.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

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