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Attachment issues...

My daughter just turned a year old in December and I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We've been living together for a little while now but my daughter doesn't want him to pick her up or kiss her or even really touch her at all. She is always smiling at him and laughing but the minute he picks her up she holds her arms out to me and wants me to get her. My boyfriend is always saying that "she hates him" even though I know it's not the case. She isn't fond of men at all, especially men with facial hair. So I don't know if it's just because he's a man or what it is. I don't know what to do to get her to warm up to him a little better. Any suggestions ? Thank you in advance :]

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Asked by RaychelP at 12:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (3)
  • I think all you can do is let her do it at her pace and don't push her. My DD is the same way with my brother and my brother in law. She's slowly starting to go to them but not very long. I don't understand it either, all I can guess is it's her age she's 10 months

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • have him not try to hard, let him sit in the room and just watch tv or read something, let her find her way to him. let her come to him when she is ready, i dont know the past with you and her father, so i dont know if he yelled at her or what happened. but i remember when my son was about that age and my uncle came over and he was bald with glasses and my son cried and wouldnt go near him. he never did anything to my son but he was just scared. let her get comfortable at her own pace and go to him

    Answer by Thalie at 1:05 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • It's hard to say what frightens a child, and since they can't communicate very well, it can be frustrating for everyone. My son is afraid of the sound of a cow, but not the cow itself, and those automatic towel dispensers in public restrooms. It may just take time for your child to get used to something or someone. But you don't want to traumatize them, so don't force it. Your boyfriend is an adult and can deal with his emotions better than the baby, so he may just have to hold back until baby is ready.

    Answer by Ophy at 8:54 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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