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Anyone lose a friend due to pregnancy?

So I dumped a pretty good friend because (among other things), she was not supportive of my pregnancy for no good reason. I'm 28, financially stable, married, and finished college a long time ago. She is adamantly against having children, and even goes so far as to say that people who have more than 1 are 'selfish' and that everyone should adopt. Her own parents had her very late in life (she is 23 and her dad is 67!) and so in her mind, everyone should have kids in or after their 30's. Have you lost a friend due to being pregnant or had friends react negatively for no reason?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • I haven't lost a friend yet. I DID have fights with them over some things. I think your in a great situation and I'm happy for you. with your friend. Maybe she is in a different time of her life so she cannot see the benefits or how she is affecting you. or maybe she is just stubborn or stuck in her ways. who knows? IMO My parents had me late in life, and I had kids when I was 23. whatever works best for you..if you feel like the friendship is worth saving, wait a bit and try again. if not then it was a learning experience and you saw her true colors.
    Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • It sounds to me like she is just young and still in the "I know everything" phase. She'll figure it all out eventually. Calling people who have more than one child is pretty harsh. My parents also had me late in life. I am 28 now (pregnant with my third), when I was 23 my dad was 68. I saw how hard it was for him to keep up with us and decided that I wanted to be young enough to have the energy to play with my kids. Now my dad is 73 and his health is failing. My kids are still pretty young and don't have a lot of time left to spend with their grandparents. It makes me sad. To answer your question though, no I have never lost a friend over a pregnancy. I have however, lost a friend over parenting philosophies.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 1:40 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Friends come into our lives for a reason...a season or a lifetime. Perhaps she was never meant to be there forever. You learned or got what you were supposed to from one another and now it's time to move on. You will be at a place in your life sometimes that others aren't and they move away because of it. My husband and I are there again now. Our naturally born children are grown. We we having the time of our lives. Going as we wished, traveling. Living the life we planned for for 25 yrs. Then we had to take custody and ultimately adopt our grandchildren. Slammed 25 yrs back in time and NOTHING but small children in common with the other parents at preschool and elementary. At soccor and ballet. Non of our friends are where we are now..and they have moved on. You move on the best you can. Good Luck.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:48 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Do you know if she ever had a m/c she may not have told you about? I had two and that was my outward look towards people I found out got pregnant when I couldn't. Just a thought since I went through a phase like that, telling people I didn't want kids etc, becasue it was easier then breaking down crying every time someone asked why I didn't have any yet. Otherwise, some people just really dont get the whole pregnancy thing. Friends come and go as people change. It sucks, but its better to know know she isn't supportive then to try to call her someday becasue you really need her to listen or something and you find out then. Good luck!
    lasombrs

    Answer by lasombrs at 3:17 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I am about to axe a friend out of my life. Regrettably, but I feel that it has to be done. She is very selfish, doesn't understand why I don't want to go to bars till two am (I'm 26 wks.) why I am tired ALL the time, and then she gives me lectures about how I need to make sure I am smart with my money because the baby's coming! I mean GEEZ! does she think I am an idiot? I told her I wasn't going to clean her cat box for her when she went out of town (she usually only goes for two days, so NOT a big deal) and the weekend I had an amnio (in october) a friend drove me to her house to check on her cat EVEN THOUGH I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON COMPLETE BED REST!!!! Sorry to vent a bit, but it has happened, and I am about done! Good luck to you though!
    babyruby02

    Answer by babyruby02 at 10:51 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Sounds eerily like the friend I"m referring to. This chick would lecture me about how to pick a daycare! Not only does she not have kids, she doesn't know anyone with kids! If I didn't explain every plan in great detail, she'd treat me like some kind of an idiot, not to mention, she began to subtly try to control my life! Who discourages someone who is financially and emotionally stable in a good marriage from having children? Esp. since she was at my wedding and cried! This friend was a complete self-involved nut job who insulted me and my unborn child when I broke up with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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