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Lose a friend due to pregnancy?

So I dumped a pretty good friend because (among other things), she was not supportive of my pregnancy for no good reason. I'm 28, financially stable, married, and finished college a long time ago. She is adamantly against having children, and even goes so far as to say that people who have more than 1 are 'selfish' and that everyone should adopt. Her own parents had her very late in life (she is 23 and her dad is 67!) and so in her mind, everyone should have kids in or after their 30's. Have you lost a friend due to being pregnant or had friends react negatively for no reason?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • No I havent lost friends but have seen alot of people make rude remarks about how many kids someone should be allowed to have and what not. Its funny to me because I am guessing these very same people are very pro choice and think a woman should choose, yet they dont like the idea of a woman choosing to have more then a couple kids. I think that you have to ignore those sorts and yes shed yourself of that negativity and closed mindedness. If you can support your child, love your child, it shouldnt matter what anyone else says. You know what they say about opinions.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:35 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Um,she doesn't sound very nice. In fact,she sounds like a judge mental person. I would drop her, her friendship would probably always bring along too much critique and drama. What may be good for her,may not work for others. I love the idea of adoption & I plan to do so; but not everyone feels that way either. I would not care, live your a good person, if she wants to be that way,then fine. You are a grown woman, as long as you are not hurting anyone;what is the big deal.

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 1:36 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think as long as you are financially,emotionally and mentally stable...and able to provide for your child and give lots of support and love, you are doing great.

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 1:37 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Yeah I have lost a friend due to pregnancy. I had a baby at 20 and we just didn't have anything in common anymore. She just stopped calling at the time when I needed a friend the most:( She was a really good friend and now that we are older she wants to have a kid and started coming around again. Too late!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • i lost friends being pregnacy but i don't care there lost. sometimes they be jealous anyway. having a child is a gift from god so be happy.

    Answer by lilmomma30295 at 1:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • it sounds like your friend is very narrow minded and somewhat heartless. who is she to decide what you want your family to be like, small or big. personally i like a big family and want one.also our church has a belief that you should populate the earth. although it also says to have only the amount you can care for. so are we to ignore that from someone who thinks thats way. i also adopted a baby out and i had a couple who had 8 children of their own. i chose a family that had none and couldn't. so i think he ideas as off based somewhat. more on personal feelings rather then facts about adoption and such. if she feels this strongly then you will loose her as friend. oh well not much of one if you ask me.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • My friend, Synthia, dropped me after my 2nd month of pregnancy. She was going to come help me move a few items into storage, to make room for the baby, because she has a van. She never showed, and wouldn't answer my calls. Finally she answered and had a bogus reason for not coming, which I called her on. She went into a frenzy, and I yelled "STOP"! She hung up. I called back and left a message that I was sorry for yelling. She never called me back. She had her own kids taken from her, and had been trying to get them back for a couple of years. I think my pregnancy set her off and made her feel like poo for not having her kids with her. Never saw her again either. Some threads just need to be cut, I guess.

    Answer by Ophy at 8:44 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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