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any advice

Okay so my hubby has this cousin whom I cannot stand. The reason I dont like the girl is because she got involved in business that had to do with my inlaws, my hubby and I. She and I got into it 2 times. I feel that her speaking in the first place was not anything she should have done. On top of that she spread my hubby's business on the internet so that everyone could see.

My hubby cut ties with her, hasnt spoken to her or her mother in over a year. Well for Xmas eve, he called his mother and SHE so happened to be at the nieces home, some how my hubby says his cousin n mom jumped on the phone before he could get in a word. Then he tries to say that his cousin told me hi. I think this is absolute BS. That girl does not care about any1 but herself. And my MIL is the culperate in ALL of this. The problem is my hubby doesnt seem to think hes done anything wrong. I feel disrespected. aM i WRONG?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • continued She has never done anything for our family. I just think if someone calls u their so called 'brother' u should act like he is that to u and when u find out he is having his first child, dont make comments like, "now he will know how it feels when he has something for his child and noone comes."

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I'm confused.... how do you feel you were disrespected?

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • She talked about me n my family including my hubby on the internet. I am his wife he should have MY back and take into consideration MY feelings and not anyone elses!!! thats how Im disrespected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Not sure I understand the whole picture, but whatever happened, I think forgiveness is in order from you. If your husband can forgive them, then you need to, as well. I've been involved in these kinds of skirmishes, and I have to tell you that the daughter-in-law always comes out looking like the bad girl in them. The only way to handle them is to let your husband decide what he wants to do with his family, and then you support him. They are his family, even though they may be messed up. In my case, my husband finally began to stand up for himself and that is the way it should be. Then you can support him in that, as well.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:50 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • i don't think it's fair to be angry at your husband. he has to have some level of relationship with some people in his life especially his mother and it doesn't seem fair to ask him to not to talk her cause of what happened. at some point forgiveness has to come into play so that you can all get on with your life without any bitterness in your heart. although i must admit i don't understand really what happened but if you feel like the mom and cousin were disrespectful then i would have to agree with that. i think they need to come forward and ask forgiveness for their wrong doing and then try to open the lines of communication but until then i think what ever they say is just self centered. they shouldn't act like nothing happened but you just need to turn the other cheek. don't be upset with your hubby. he needs to set his own boundaries with his own family.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • ok now that i read more i think i would feel the same but this has more to do with your husband and his family then you. you can't in fairness ask him to back you up in this issue. he has to think of their feelings as well cause they are family. inspite of how you feel. right or wrong his feelings should still be considered and not just yours as the way it should be. sometimes there is just not one right answer. this is that time. i would feel the same but i would have to deal with it and support mu husband and his feelings as well. your both entitled to your feelings and both your feelings are valid. so you deal with yours and he deals with his. no sides on who is right or wrong. although since it's not really clear often times it should be the husband backs the wife but in this one i think this may not be true.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:00 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • oh the problem isnt in part with my MIL. Ive already settled my issues with her. His parents are one thing. But the rest of his family are another. He can have whatever relationship he wants with them. I married him and not the rest of th fam. Them speaking on things that go on between my hubby and his parents or my hubby and myself is what I have the issue with. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion but when you act like you are right for butting in business that has NOTHING to do with you then you have issues. my piont is she got involved in things that she shouldnt have. She spoke on behalf of his parents and took it to another level. Involving my parents lives, and spreading rumors on the internet thinking she was hurting me and she just hurt her cousin.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • well the cousin sounds evil. i'm sorry.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:27 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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