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How do I tell my MIL w/o offending her that my Sisters and Mother do not want her involved (hostesss ect.) with my baby shower. Mainly b/c she was very pushy ect. with my bridal shower. I dont want to upset her, but don't want to go through being stuck in the middle again like with my bridal shower. I could really use some advice. Thanks.

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Asked by heatmac4 at 2:02 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (29 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Ouch that's tough! I think regardless she is going to be hurt however you tell her you don't want her involved ...can't you assign her something small?! Such as favors? desserts? games?! g'luck! xoxo

    Answer by MrsPilat at 2:03 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Simply invite her to it, and don't let her get involved. Let your mother and sister do most of the planning, and invite your MIL a week before the shower is scheduled. If she asks if there is anything she can do to help, tell her to bring a bag of chips, or something along that nature, but that your mom has it under control.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • just ell her your family is planning it for and that they dont need any help and ask her to bring something like the pp said

    Answer by symle456 at 2:10 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I don't think you should completely exclude her. I think a good way to have her involved in a controlled way would be to give her specific tasks to work on. Let her be in charge of the cake or the games or the party favors. Just say "we really need someone to help with this...everything else is taken care of." This way she gets to be a part of it, but ti's not open-ended and she won't have a chance to throw her weight around. Give her tasks she can do on her own and all she has to do is show up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I agree with Anon. Just tell her that your mom and sis already have everything planned, but they do need someone to help with ____________. Whether it's favors or the cake and puch...try to pick something you know you can trust her with, and that you think she would enjoy at the same time.

    Answer by owensmom17 at 2:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Just send her an invitation!

    If she asks about the planning or what she can do just say "Thank you but nothing. My Mom and sisters have been so excited about this shower that it's just taken off! They've really got all the bases covered, I think." Maybe not exactly that but something alone those lines.

    It's perfectly acceptable. One person doesn't need to be involved in the planning of every shower type event. That's silly!


    Answer by madamekatekate at 3:00 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Actually, there could be a place for "pushy" people at your shower...while you have everything else planned out and assigned to could ask your mil to "do something especially important that you are relying on her to take care of"...and then have her do something that wouldn't take from the party, or hurt anyone's feelings. Have her mail off the invites, and then be in charge of calling everyone to make sure they are coming, or have her EMCEE the games...just as examples...but then she won't feel left out, but she won't run the show either.

    Answer by Ophy at 8:19 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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