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What are reasonable ground rules about sons having girfriends over?

My stepson (20) is in an intense relationship with a new girlfriend. They spend every free moment together and even work together. I'm glad they're happy, but they hang out at our house in his room every single day. (The girl also lives with her parents) They tried sneaking a sleepover in, but my husband set some ground rules right away. Girl has to go home at midnight. My SS is not too happy about this household rule. He's a student and works part time. He can't affort his own apartment. Meanwhile he is giving me and my husband major attitude. The girl is here every day sometimes 12 hours a day. All we ask is that she not sleep over. I have an impressionable 11 year old daughter. I don't think it's too much to ask, it's our house and his first girlfriend. It's a new situation in need of new ground rules.
How are most handling this in your homes?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I agree with the above and also remind him YOU pay the bills for him to live there in YOUR house and if he doesn't like it he needs to find a way to make enough money to buy his own food/shelter and him and his gf can move in together....If not he needs to learn to respect your rules and his sister. And if its that good of a relationship they will be able to live thru it, rushing things never turns out well.

    Answer by HayleyGM at 2:48 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I think you are right...its your house. Tell him that you dont want you DD to get the wrong idea because she is VERY impresionable. I think you are being very nice letting her be there 12 hours a day and stay til midnight. Ask him what is the difference in her staying the night or staying til midnight, they should be sleeping anyway. Tell him to calm down because he needs to take his time in case it doens't work out...

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 2:32 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Your house your rules. If he doesn't like it they can go sleepover at HER house and see what her mama and daddy have to say about that. Set your rules, let him know the boundaries and stick to your guns. Major attitude would (and has) mean/meant suspension of guest privileges for a day or two at my house. He is not a baby and he isn't paying any rent I bet. He needs to learn to be respectful of your home as an adult. All you need is 30 days and pay someone to serve him to evict.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:47 PM on Jan. 5, 2009