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How to help my son cope. Help

It's been 5months since my son's father and I seperated. Let me tell you a bit about our history... We had finally decided to move in together and give the family thing a try. So really my son had never lived and interacted much with his "Rolling Stone" dad. .....

So here is my dilemma.... After 5 months my son is completely depressed. He doesn't want to eat or even get out of bed. He says to me he wants Dad back no matter what, cries often, he is just depressed at such a young age and It breaks my heart! I have contacted a place for therapy because he definitely needs it. I have kept him busy with extra curricular activities and friends (sleepovers, play dates etc.) Is there anyone who has gone through this that can share some light . I am being supportive with my son, yet I am very afraid I will push him away. He is 9 yrs old and this is such a crucial age for him. please help. thank you!

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sxochitl

Asked by sxochitl at 3:15 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • I have never been in this situation, but I think you are headed down the right track. Therapy is in desperate need, and then I think time and understanding will help get him through the rest.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Oh, I haven't been there, and so I can't give any advice. Sounds like you are being a great mother, though. Just keep being there for him, and supporting him, and let him know that even though seems are tough right now, that some day he'll see that you are doing the very best you can in the situation you are in.
    Prayers for you & him.
    3gymnastsmom

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 8:38 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • haven't been there before but get him the counseling it will help. and good luck.
    BigMA

    Answer by BigMA at 11:36 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Thank you all very much for your kind words. It helps a great deal in this trivial situation. Blessings
    sxochitl

    Answer by sxochitl at 11:35 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • have you told him it's OK to feel this way? i know you're trying to make him feel better, but have you actually said those words to him? sometimes kids (or adults) need to hear those words, even if all actions say it anyways
    good luck, momma
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 3:54 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I haven't been through quite the same thing. But My daughter reacted the same way when her father died. But the best thing i did, Was to give her the space she needed. I seeked counseling to figure out how to help her. And realized that she needed to see me cry and get angry. But with all things, it just takes time and patience. I tried to hide and be strong with my emotions, so in turn she felt that i didn't care. So once i opened up to her, she felt she could relate more to me and we were able to openly talk about her feelings. And to this day we are closer than ever! You are doing great by him, getting him therapy and keeping him busy. Best of luck with your little guy.
    orangepeel

    Answer by orangepeel at 1:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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