Divorce

my husband and I are having a rough spot in our marriage I am seriously considering divorce, he treats me like crap constantly, he belittles and name calls me for no reason, he is very selfish and makes everything about himself and his needs and wants.

He tells me he doesn't love me anymore and would rather be single, and then when the fighting stops he tells me he was just mad, this is really getting old and I am sick of it, he doesn't want to go to marriage counseling because he doesn't think he has a problem and doesn't think he has to change. I am so done. I am tired of trying to make it work, because honestly it takes two to make a marriage work, not just one and hes not trying so I am thinking of divorcing him, advice please?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Oct. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)

First off, Sorry for what you are going through. No one deserves to be treated like that.
My advise, a trial separation. Show him what he will be missing if he doesn't change his ways. Let him know you are serious. If worst comes to worst and he doesn't change then maybe moving on and starting over is best for you.
Its unhealthy to be treated that way and its not good for kids involved to be around.
Good luck to you, i wish you the best!

Answer by LenaMommyof3 at 9:01 AM on Oct. 19, 2011
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i would also suggest a separation. when you separate yourself from someone, you're able to emotionally detach yourself somewhat from the situation and focus on yourself so you can decide what's best. you might start missing him within a few days, even though he treats you badly because change is hard for anyone, but you need to go atleast 2 weeks separated with as little contact as possible (except of course if there are kids involved). you will either discover that you want to move on or that you want to work on things.

Answer by tnm786 at 9:33 AM on Oct. 19, 2011
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I agree you guys at least need to separate. My dh and I have had similar issues. I went and got divorce papers, and he magically changed. He's great now! I hope you find a solution, and happiness!

Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:04 AM on Oct. 19, 2011
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Separation with marriage counseling a requirement for reunion.

Answer by gdiamante at 10:26 AM on Oct. 19, 2011
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No one deserves this kind of emotional abuse. Marriage counseling is out of the question until he seeks help for his abusive behavior.
Maybe you need to show him that you aren't going to take this garbage from him and ask him to leave. If he won't leave, pack up and leave while he isn't home.

You can get more advice on your specific situation by calling your local domestic violence shelter. They are always there to listen.

Abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter whether he is hitting you.

Answer by mrsgino at 10:47 AM on Oct. 19, 2011
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How long have you been married it sounds like the bottom of one of the cycles marriages go through. Sometimes if you stick it out and keep working on your side things will get better. I personally would go to counseling without him. If you go to a church you may want to talk to you minister or pastot, etc. Sometimes it does not work out. You also don;t mention whether you have kids.

Answer by Dardenella at 4:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2011
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If you have children together, please do everything possible to keep the marriage intact.

Answer by tasches at 5:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2011
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tasches we do but there is nothing to make it work anymore.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:32 AM on Oct. 20, 2011