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How do I deal with my son hitting everyone?

When my son gets mad or doesn't get what he wants he hits whoever is close to him and its not a playful hit, he hurt you. How do we break him of doing this?

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Asked by Threej at 8:16 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • Why do parents want to "break" their kids??
    First, you need to change the way you think of your child. There is nothing in him that needs to be broken.
    Second- consider his age. He's between 1 and 2 years old. This is perfectly age appropriate.
    He is hitting because he lacks the words to convey his frustration. Even children with very great speech skills sometimes get to the point where they are so frustrated that they cannot articulate their feelings.
    If you don't like his hitting tell him "I do not like it when you hit ___ that hurts." Stay it sternly, but not shouting.

    Answer by Liyoness at 8:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Next - model good behaviour. "I like it when you use soft, gentle touches," and rub his face and arms with your hands.
    Follow it with "use your words."

    When he's very worked up, he may not have the words, in which case, you help him to calm down- usually with a hug. Once he is calm, tell him, "I understand you are frustrated and that you didn't like/ wanted ___." Once you see that registers, go on with "but I don't like it when you hit." Again, look at his eyes, is he listening? Then tell him that he cannot have ___, but he can have ___ instead. If it's a matter of being angry about something else, again, make it so he has some control over the situation. And give him the words he CAN use, instead of hitting.

    Answer by Liyoness at 8:24 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Liyonesse.........will you be my mommy? LOL just kidding. Threej she is absolutely correct with her advice.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • The most important thing is to understand that your child is hitting for a REASON! Once you figure out the reason, you can give your toddler some semblance of control within boundaries which are acceptable.. CHOICES CHOICES CHOICES!!!
    Tantrums are inevitable, but it is how you HANDLE those tantrums which teaches your child acceptable behavioural and coping skills.
    Teach them how to make choices, and how to use their words/positive behaviours.
    It's okay for anyone of any age to be displeased with a situation. Punishing a child for that will not teach them anything. Love is the best tool you can use to teach your child how to behave more appropriately.

    Answer by Liyoness at 8:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • When my kids would hit I would sit them down and give them a very firm NO hitting it hurts. Once they were old enough for timeouts it was a first offense time out. Just remember to keep your cool while disiplining.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:41 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • It's also important, though, to teach your toddler acceptable outlets when their emotions get too strong - hitting a pillow is OKAY! Stomping on the floor is OKAY. Teach him what he CAN do with his strong emotions.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:00 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I believe in whooping butt so you dont want my opinion....

    Answer by blackwellqk at 11:02 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

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