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What Happens to the child?

Me and my husband are having serious issues. I wanted to know what happens to a PRE adoptive child in the event of a divorce? I'd be devastated if our LO had to go into foster care, or get taken away from us. Also, the parental rights have not been terminated yet pending homestudy approval. This is a private adoption, and we are using an attorney. (no facilitators or agencies).


Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • The state would not take the child away because of a divorce or separation before least I don't believe so. My main concern would be with the BMom being okay with her child going to a one-parent home instead of a two-parent home that she seems to have originally chosen. As long as you keep everything honest and open and the BMom is okay with it, I would think you would be fine.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:40 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • are you saying you have an adopted child and your getting a divorce or you were in the process of adoption and decided to divorce in the middle of it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • The latter. We are in the adoption process and it is not finalized.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • well i would think if you divorced now theyd make you start the process over again as a single mother and the child would be put in a foster home when it was born or stay with its original mother til it was finalized.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Is it a private adoption where the bm hand picked you? If that is the case then I would talk with her. Tell her the situation, and what it is the two of you plan to do.

    Answer by Jazak at 8:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Jazak, yes that is the situation. We definately plan to talk to her. I'm just asking LEGALLY...could our LO be taken from us?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • who would be the ones to take the child away? not the state if they are not involved or an agency but i think the mother would have the right to get the child back under this type of circumstance or the laws in your state. i think if it's not finalized anything can happen. GL

    Answer by melody77 at 9:23 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I don't know "who" would, I'm just paranoid, we're willing to stay together until finalization.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • Since you are anonymous, can you share what possibly could have happened now that you didnt know about prior to the adoption. Legally there may be nothing wrong with it, but morally you are on thin ice. If you presented yourself in your home study, your profile, you meeting with the agency and the bmom as this loving couple and it was a sham, Not trying to judge but there are so many couples who would pray for the chance to adopt and you didnt think seriously prior to doing it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I agree with AllAboutKeeley. I'm not sure about the legal side of things but I do think it is very important you are open and honest with bmom about the change in your situation. It wouldn't be fair to her, you, or the baby, to start the adoption without being completely honest with one another.

    Answer by casjoh at 11:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2009