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How do you go about " the birds and the bees" talk?

How do you talk to your child about the birds and the bees? We may already be past the " CORRECT" age to talk to him but what can we do now?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I would ask them what they know and fill in the blanks. My oldest is almost 8 and we are planning to talk to her soon.

    Answer by Jazak at 8:50 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I agree - find out what they know then go on from there.

    We actually started to talk about this when my girls were 6 and 7 - we had a friend who was pregnant so this seemed a natural reference point. We started out there since they were curious about how K 'got a baby in her tummy' . We were very gentle, not too much detail at the time but as they have gotten older we have filled in the details. At 12 they had Growth and Development classes at school - and said it was a mixture of embarrassing and boring. Embarrassing because of the way some other kids reacted, boring because we had already covered everything in greater detail at home!

    Answer by Manth at 8:55 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I highly recommend the book entitled "Sex has a price tag". My son says its uncomfortable talking to me about it but I say too bad. He will have to get over it. :) I want to make sure I share what I feel I should be sharing the dangers of emotional and illnesses.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 8:56 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • My kids have "always" known about sex. I had my youngest two children at home, so the other kids were participants from prenatal visits to helping during the birth, and holding the new baby even before aunts and uncles. Their first questions, ironically were about the miracle of breastmilk... what is it made of???!!! And then, later, it seemed to dawn on them that the baby was made of something, too. We kept it factual. Moms have eggs, Dads have sperm. Dad puts this there, and here's the end result. My kids used words like semen, vulva, and secretion like most say fingers and ears. The big talk we had to have was why these topics are reserved for at home. My kids did not understand being ashamed of a human function properly executed. One daughter worried that maybe some people didn't like those words used in public because they don't know what they mean, and think they are "bad" words. ...I'm inclined to agree.

    Answer by hippiecrit at 11:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • we have family talk at dinner time i ask a sex question and they tell me what they think is the answer we started this we my now 8 yr old was six so now what we do is review every night like we ask each one of the kids to name a std n how u can get it,and then we ease to is anyone having sex yet or does anyone think they want to these days i think u have to be straight forward with these kids.

    Answer by BigMA at 11:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • sorry i dont got an answer but just make sure to not do what my pop did..."now clarissa when the guy becomes erect his penis grows twice the size, in my case its 3 times tho...laughing with xstepmom..."disturbing...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I have always been very open about things and when the kids ask, I give them the age appropriate answer using the correct terms. They started discussing some things at school when they were in fifth grade a little more in sixth and they talk a lot more openly now that they are in seventh grade. A few weeks ago they were talking about STDs and we had to go on line because I didn't know the answer to the question they asked. Again, I have just always given them an age appropriate answer. Good luck!

    Answer by sammy12868 at 5:57 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • It's easier just to go about it in a up front way. No need to sugar coat it cause they will know the truth sometime. You might not even really need to tell them all the gory details. They pick it up from friends and movies. Just tell them you want to know when they are sexually active and that they can come and talk to you when they have any questions. Tell them the importance of being safe and about side effects like STD's and pregnancy.

    Answer by HannahxTeenMomx at 7:57 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • As early as possible as it doesn't take too long and they know more about it than we do. The times have changed and not necessarily for the best sometimes. Just stress protection for both parties and abstinence is even better, but we can't watch over them all of the time and they're going to do what they want to do sometimes. So, be open and show your concern for their health--physical and moral. They might hear you!

    Answer by Squirrel1001 at 4:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • When he was little I would call the boy parts birds and the girl parts nests. Sex was later explained as the bird goes in the nest. When he got older he didn't call it a bird anymore and firgured it out. You have to start early with this and continue to talk about it at age appropriate times.

    Answer by fleck at 8:25 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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