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What can I do?

I have been married for almost 3 years. Me and my husband argue alot. It is really starting to get on my nerves. He is one of those guys that think they are always right and they never do anything at all wrong regardless of the situation! he just pisses me off sometime. When we start arguing he starts calling me stupid, ignorant, and all these other stupid names ( never b**** or anything like that) just degrades me and makes me feel like i am his little kid . And when we start arguing like in a public place like walmart or something regardless of if we are with friends or not he will say if you don't stop your attitude then we are just going home. i mean he is a great father and when we aren't arguing we are so lovey dovey if you know what i mean. but when we argue it is over in like 2 hrs. but i am so sick of arguing what do i do to stop?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (3)
  • Well if he is not going to listen to you, then possibly marriage counseling. Even if he does not call you a "Bitch" calling you stupid is just as bad. Also if he makes you feel degraded and treats you like a child, I would say that is almost like verbal abuse.

    No man should treat you like that. He should respect you. Sure every couple has had bad fights and said dumb things, but if this is happening every time, something has to be done. Eventually if you do not deal with it now by either talking to him or going to counseling your self esteem will plummet or you will get fed up and leave.

    If you do talk to him, say things like " I feel degraded when you say stupid," DO NOT say " You make me feel degraded." I heard by using "you" it makes the person feel more defensive. It's better to say " I feel."

    Answer by J9Mommy at 11:25 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I am in the SAME situation. We are getting counseling. We are only in our 2nd year though. My BF gave me advice that has became my New Years Resolution..she told me to stop letting things bother me..(I have anger managment issues when we argue)..she said that he enjoys seeing me get mad, SOOO now I just sit back and say.."ok..whatever..go ahead..I do not care anymore"..we shall see how it all works..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

  • I agree with pp. I have to do that myself. My boyfriend never degrades me but we do argue a lot and he's one of those "i'm never wrong" type men too. I've learned to just sit back and say "k, you win". It works until we get into something that he will just NOT let go of.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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