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Should I tell him...

that I am planning to leave him?He is emotionally and mentally abusive to me and I don't think it would be physical but honestly right now I don't even feel I know him.I was thinking of waiting for him to go to work one day,having the movers come and just going.Bad idea? or should I risk his negative behavior and tell him I am going.it will not shock him that I want it to be over, but it will shock him to come home to an empty place.Not doing it for drama,doing it to save my life.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Considering the abusive nature of this man, I would seek legal counseling before leaving to protect yourself and your baby. You may be able to get a restraining order for protection after you leave. I would be surprised if leaving ended the problems with this guy since the baby is his. You need a thorough plan of where you'll go, what you will take and how you will take care of yourself and the baby. It's important to be assertive and make sure that you don't go back to him because this kind of guy rarely changes and you would be in for a miserable life. You and your baby deserve a better life that is free from abuse. This baby should be raised in a loving environment and that should be the priority now. Surrouond yourself with supportive people when you do this. Good luck!
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 9:31 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • are there children involved?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I am pregnant w/his child but he has had almost no involvment w/pregnancy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I would never keep his child from him btw-I just need to get away from this person-he is going to drive me insane.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Just go.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 2:08 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Not a bad idea at all! If he is emotionally and mentally abusive, it will more than likely progress to physical abuse if he's given enough time! Take only what belongs to you and get out!! If you are financially able to get away, don't hesitate, especially if your life is at stake. RUN!!!.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 2:11 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • that makes it a little tricky. but if you are in fear of your life then i would say once he's gone just leave. dont worry about getting more then you can get in just your car. but since you now have a child with him, you might never truly be rid of him. are you seriously scared of him or are you guys just having a big fight right now and you both need some space to cool off and talk again with calmer heads? NOT that anyone should EVER stay in an abusive relationship, but could you split on better terms?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • as I said he has never been physical, but he is very irrational in his thinking and impossible to reason with.There is nothing more to say when you are told you ar basically"the baby ups,worth no more than that." so I am afraid for my life-I am afraid that with this one I will want to hurt MYSELF, if he doesn't do it for me.I know how abuse works and the fact that he has not hit me yet amazes me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • run.
    Ophy

    Answer by Ophy at 2:34 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • If it were me I'd have someone with me for protection if I was going to tell him that I'm leaving him that he needs help. If there are children involved, he should have supervised visits until he completes anger management classes and even then I dont think I would be able to trust him. Thats some tough trusting issue right there. Sorry you are having to go through this. Good Luck
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 2:58 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

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