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My son hates daycare situations...and we end up losing our providers....

This has only happened twice so far, the first time we just couldn't afford it anymore. That was in January of 08 and he was at a private church preschool. The last time was just a couple of weeks ago and he was at a "Home" care provider. She lasted a mere 8 days before she gave us the boot. My son is 28 mnths and he has mostly been with me the last couple of years. My kiddo was not "out of control" or anything like that, she just stated that she couldn't handle him crying all day long because he missed us. I am afraid of starting over with a different provider just to have the same thing happen again. I know he will need a great deal of patience to help ease his fears of being without mommy. I just don't want to have someone else "give up" on him because he is emotionally taxing. What should I do?

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Asked by apryle at 10:01 AM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Interview all potential daycare providers - whether center or home-based. Ask them how they help children transition. Talk to them about your situation and what they suggest be done. Ask what their philosophy about children are. See if their answers sit well with you - can you agree with them? Can you hold them to their ideas - that is, if they aren't doing what they said they would, can you call them on it and get them back in line? It may also be that your son still needs to learn that other adults can be trusted as much as you can to respond to his needs. Has he had other opportunities to spend extended time with other adults in your presence? If not, try doing this more so he can learn to trust.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • If it's possible try to ease him into it. Once you find a daycare, bring him for a visit and stay with him and than the two of you leave together. After a couple of days of doing that, take him there and drop him off for an hour or so, pick him up, than for a couple hours etc... It's hard for a child who has been with Mama for so long to be seperated for long streches of time. If you can show him that when you leave, you always come back, he should get the idea soon enough. That last woman who quit trying after only 8 days was ridiculous. Most daycares have a 2 week trial period. Good luck to you.

    Answer by happyathomemum at 10:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I'd recommend going to a day care center b/c they are used to having new kids and those who are afraid to leave mommy or daddy. They will be more experienced and also are more liekly to have kids the same age to encourage him to play with. It may take 2 or more weeks for him to adjust. But any good day care will let you know that up front and being willing to work with both of you to help him adjust. Be sure to interview the director as well as his potential teacher and make sure they all know what might happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Leave a picture of you as a family with him? Ease into it gradually, if your job allows that.

    Answer by lynnard at 2:10 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I was in your same situation a few months back. I was a SAHM for 21 months then felt it was time for me to return to work. Hubby & I looked at a few ChildCare Centers & Home Providers. In the end we decided that a Center would be BEST for us. The 1st few days my son cried when we dropped him off (I cried the 1st day myself), but after that he got used to it & with the other kids there doing all types of activities he wouldn't realize that I had already left him behind. For the 1st week or so I stayed there w/ him for 10 minutes or so just so he would know that it's okay for him to be there. I called all the time to check & they never seemed to mind. You'll find what your looking for most importantly you know what's BEST for your child.


    Answer by MsWood729 at 4:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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