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2 Bumps

Am i a Bad mom?

Hello im a stay at home mom of 2 kids and my husband says im an ok mom because i dont do mother things like color with them or play with them, hes gone to work grave yard and then school all week and yet tells me i dont play with my kids which i do i chase them i play other games with them there 2 and 4 yrs old i teach them things. so am i a bad mother or am i a good mom? also he has said to me if he wanted to he could take the kids away from me because fincially he can take care of them, but then who would be there to take care of them? i would think its me, i know its not a gift that i got from him i mean i did most of the work. Plus when he goes out like to the store or something i sometimes wanna go and he says "i dont wanna drag the kids around" i mean really come on, can you help me with this issue i need advise, i clean house i dont get to go out on my own ever so its tuff..

Answer Question
 
mommie20s

Asked by mommie20s at 5:25 PM on Oct. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Ignore her... she has no manners, or a real opinion. Her goal in life is to be hateful and rude.

    It sounds like your as normal as the rest of us moms and your husband sounds selfish.
    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 5:29 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to get your stuff together so that you can be self reliant, cause your DH sounds like a jerk.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 5:32 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • plus he says all the time how much he works and i dont do anything at all but thats not true
    mommie20s

    Comment by mommie20s (original poster) at 5:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • You both sound very young (OP and husband). So you don't color with your children, big deal. Not everyone enjoys coloring.

    The issue is that your husband is an ass for threatening those threats.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:35 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • like its pretty much he gave me the kids one of them isnt really his but hes been there for her since she was 9 months old, and i dont go around telling him what i do and what he doesnt do, im 27 trying to be my age and the way he is its hard when hes not around im myself cuz its the only time i can be cuz if im myself its not his way and hes in his early 30s and were i live its hard to get a job the unemployment is bad here but at the same time we have noone to watch the kids cuz hes in school from 9am 4 pm every day and works grave yard and sleeps when he gets home. my son takes long naps thats how he has always been
    mommie20s

    Comment by mommie20s (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • He really sounds like an ass. .
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 5:55 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • It doesn't sound like you're a bad mom. My DH does a lot of the playing with our dd. I'm just not the type to get down on the floor and roll around or run round in the backyard. I do make an effort for her sake of course and I do lots of other things with her but he is just better at the playing than I am and I think that is the case with a lot of men- being playful is something they are good at. So maybe because that's what he would do he thinks that is what you should do. But I also have the patience to bake cookies with a 3 year old and really let her help whereas my DH maybe isn't so great at that sort of thing. I'm good at reading stories and giving baths and kissing boo boos. There's a lot a kid needs besides someone to play with. It's good for kids to have parents who are good at different things because then they get a little bit of everything. Keeping house and caring for kids is a full time job, no doubt about that.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 5:57 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • he doesnt really play with them unless hes awake and they dont bother him he loves them i know that but i do everything for them and the house we moved into a small place comapared from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom place with realy no closet space so it might look messy but its really clean just cluttered
    mommie20s

    Comment by mommie20s (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • Sweetie it sounds like you have a BAD husband,, I DK the dynamics or your relationship,, but I sure would be checking into doing something for yourself,,, I guess it just makes me SOOO mad when men don't look at mothering as important,, you don't say how old your are, but I would bet that you should and could return to school, and get out from under his control...
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 6:06 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

  • Why does it bother him that your not perfect, nobody is and he needs to be told that. He's insecure and expects you to fill in those gaps of his insecurity. He's being a jerk and some men think that being a jerk gets results. Next time he nit picks tell him you want to do something as a family because you are a family. Your not the nanny and maid your the mother and his wife who should be respected
    Iheartdylan

    Answer by Iheartdylan at 7:04 PM on Oct. 26, 2011

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