Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what does it mean....

hi all iv been with my bf four 6 years when we go to bed he always wants sex but i dont, and when we do i find myself thinking about a friend of mine. do u all do that? or am i nuts. whats it mean?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • hmm..that doesn't sound good, is your bf boring in bed that you need to think of someone else to get in the mood?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • no hes not boring just dont like it anymore,

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • you should try mixing things up just a bit then, sounds like you need something to excite you

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • it's called coping. If you are going to stay with him and have sex with him without wanting it then you are coping with what you feel you must do by making it more satisfying for you. Fantasizing about someone else while with another person is not uncommon. I do it and am sure many men do it. I have no doubt my SO closes his eyes and thinks he's with Pamela Anderson.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:14 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • i don't think it means anything. i have thought of a couple of ex's not in bed but i know it doesn't mean anything. i would never trade in my husband for any of them. you might be comparing without really comparing them.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:25 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I think its a really bad sign if your thinking about someone else while your having sex with your BF iv never done that anyway!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:32 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Hmmmmmm I don't do this but I really enjoy having sex with my SO. Have you ever tried to figure out why you just don't like sex anymore? I got to that point with my ex hubby, but it wasn't that I didn't like sex anymore just that I didn't like/care for him anymore, and it all changed once I started seeing my SO. If you're just bored try spicing things up a lil bit, role playing, dress-up in something sexy, watch a porn together. There's lots of things you can do to make it better that take lil effort


    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:33 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • i so went through this stage for like 2 months i woudl fantasize about a friend of mine but it was just a fun day dream i would never act on it and it made me feal good but it was a stage and it passed the main thing that made it pass was me and my bf talked about sex and i made him realize that i wanted some things he wasnt doing and while im a bit more wild than he is he has managed to open up alot and so now sex is alot better cause my needs are getting met too

    Answer by jajamama at 1:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I think what you are doing is normal and everyone does it.Especially after you've been in a relationship for a long time.Just don't tell him about it.

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:22 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • we all have fantasies...:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.