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need advice......anyone have a hubby who has a traveling job?

i have posted many times because im torn in a decision to work on my marriage again or not. hubby works as a military contractor and is barely ever home. i know he has cheated once before taking this job. and i have had a seperation with him for 6 months and took him back. after about a year which brings us to today i think hes cheated again. he wont admit it however i know hes explaining away my proof. my question is, if ur hubby cheated more than once with people at work how could u trust him to leave again and not go nuts? should i try? or should i just give up because were good friends when spilit but marriage can never work....

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stefirose22

Asked by stefirose22 at 11:49 AM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Well my husband does travel for work but to my knowledge hasnt and wouldnt cheat on me. Now my ex husband was a cheater and after I found out about his affair he continued to cheat and lied the whole time. When I found undisputable proof he too tried to explain it away. I had enough though and said no more lies. I dont believe you. Get out of my house. It was a good decision even though now hes totally insane and stalks me, takes me to court all the time for custody and child supp but I am with a GOOD MAN now and I dont regret leaving his sorry butt.I deserved to be #1 and so do you. You know what they say. Tis better to have loved and lost then live with the psycho the rest of your life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:59 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Did you guys resolve it the first time...did you go through marriage counseling? Did he make a true effort to earn your trust back? Is he making a true effort to ease your worries that you have now? If not I would be skeptical too...you don't want to go through life in constant worry about his faithfulness. I suppose if the answer to the ?s is no...then I would probably end it...but only you can decide what is best...GL to you
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 12:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • My husband is a military contractor so I know what you mean with him always being gone. I let my husband know when we first got together if he ever cheated he would lose me & the kids forever. If for some reason I did take him back, if I had proof he cheated a second time there would be no room for forgiveness, I would leave.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Are there children involved? Is your husband just a weak personality or does he have unmet needs? (not making excuses, but these are important questions to consider.) How important is your marriage and your home to you? Are you putting yourself at risk from std's by staying with him? You are the only one who can make this decision, and these are but some of the questions that have to be answered.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Marriage counseling or splitting. You don't want to catch STD's, and that is only part of the problem. Not being able to rely on him, whether he is cheating or not, means the marriage isn't working. I'd still recommend counseling, but meanwhile set things up so that you can leave the marriage if you decide to. Make sure you have money in your own bank account, and you may want to talk with a lawyer. But counseling first.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:39 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • he never tried to earn my trust back. never got testing the first time and honestly, i dont think he respects what ive been through to accept him back and learn to trust him after that first time. he doesnt believe in counceling and everytime i bring it up he says he will never go. so i dunno if i have the strength to deal with it this time on my own like last time. i talked to him today and he complained i was bringing this up again. well im sorry but dont i have the right?? i JUST found out about this second girl and he still has not admitted to the cheating this time even when i have all the proof! i dunno......
    stefirose22

    Answer by stefirose22 at 3:28 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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